Daunted
by itsalreadybeendone
Summary: A Divergent fanfic that is based after initiation is finished and then takes on it's own plot from there. Rated M for violence, swearing and... they sex yo. I'll try to put a (M) next to each chapter that contains bangin of some sorts cus I know some of ya dirty birds just want that. Re-posting this with some minor edits made. Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

**Well hello there! So this is my old story (first 2 chapters are different cus I couldnt find them but I re-wrote them to the best of my memory). I'm sorry for deleting it, I was going through a really hard time and decided I didnt want a single piece of me left out there, but thankfully I've gotten alot better and that brings us to me deciding (actually more like boyfriend "encouraging" aka forcing me) to get back into writing, which I think I needs to start with giving you guys the story that tens of thousands of you guys didnt seem to hate. Honestly, hearing from you guys and having you there for me was the best support system I have ever had (other than boyfriend and cat and food, because... y'know, you guys can't cuddle and feed me nutella over the internet), and knowing that people actually liked what I was writing with your reviews and messages was what kept me going. I've started another fan fic about the Throne of Glass series and theres a long story about why thats so delayed rn but I'll explain that in that story's next A/N. Hope you guys enjoy and I'll keep rambling at the bottom. BYYYEEEEEE**

(Tris)

I stared. She stared back. She looked… well she looked beautiful. The girl standing before me wore a black as night dress that showed off curves that she was still getting used to, however little they may be. The dark fabric clung to her petite waist and came up to curve over her new found chest, her blonde hair resting on her bare collar bones freckled with black birds and shoulders that were now toned from fighting exposed. long skirt just brushing the ground like a glassy river running over rocks at with the moon shinning down into the water.

She had somehow grown into her features, her nose changing from beak-like into a something that conveyed that she had left behind the young girl she had once been. Her cheeks had gone from gaunt and hollow to striking, with prominent lines and a rosy glow. Most of all, her eyes the greys and blues no longer drowned her face into a bland, insectile stare, but instead the silver speckles in them shone and brought out her smile, the blue reminiscent of the sky when a storm was on its way.

"Hello, earth to Tris" Christina says impatiently, snapping her fingers in front of my fack, pulling me out of my stare into the fitting room mirror.

"Yeah, sorry… Um, what did you say?" I mumble, turning to see her rolling her eyes.

"I asked you what you think" She says, flicking me in the arm as she stepped up behind me, fiddling with pins and swooshing the skirt of the dress this and that way.

"It's…" I paused, searching for words, "It's beautiful."

She smiles to herself, proud of her handiwork, and rightfully so. The dauntless ball is one of the biggest faction events that we have. Every year the members of dauntless gets dressed up and transform the pit into a ballroom of sorts in celebration of the new members. Gif it weren't for Christina, I would be going in my training gear, which -especially as a first year Dauntless- would result in a major ass kicking most likely. This was the third time I've seen my dress. The first was when we first came here and Christina chose it out, the second was when the dauntless lady fitted it for me, being fairly careless where she stuck the needles, and today, the final fitting before the ball.

"I can't wait to see Four's reaction, he'll probably tear that thing right off of you the second he lays eyes on you." Christina coos.

I shift uncomfortably, the hem of my dress catching under my foot.

"For god's sake," Christina mumbles, catching my arm before I fall on my ass, "I guess if talking bout that boy in the sac makes you this weak at the knees he MUST be good" She smirked, straightening my dress in the mirror of the dress shop.

I curse my self for blushing at wracked my brain for a conversation topic but came up blank, my panicked eyes meeting her suspicious squint in the mirror.

"Oh come on Tris," she says, rolling her eyes, "there is no way you can make me believe that boy is not as amazing in bed as he is on the eyes."

"Hey! Watch it, he's taken." I say, pinching her arm, desperately thinking of how to steer this conversation elsewhere, but coming up empty handed.

She goes to slap my hand but we both know I'm too swift for her, sidestepping her and letting her fall onto her knees. She turns, peering up at me with attempt at puppy dog eyes.

"Pleeeaaaase I need some detail, otherwise you're just being mean," She begs, her hands clasped together, "at least tell me how big."

She took her two pointer fingers and started slowly drawing them further apart from each other. When her fingers were 8 inches apart and her jaw was on the floor I realized what she was doing and shuddered, staring at the ceiling.

"Well I'll never be able to call him four again" She murmurs under her breath, standing back up.

"No, it's not like that…" I say, looking around the room for anything at all that could distract her.

"I swear, if its not like THAT then I'll have to kill you myself and get me some Four action." She exclaims, ignoring my growl.

"Just… Maybe consider not opening your mouth. Like, ever again." I say pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Well if things keep going this way I might just have to start opening my mouth even wider for that bo-" She says, but I whip around.

"WE HAVENT HAD SEX" I snap, instantly regretting it.

"Oh my god," Christina whispers, her hands going to her mouth and her eyes instantly filled with pity, "is…. is he gay?". I've never heard her sound more scared.

I roll my eyes, clicking my tongue. "No you idiot." Instantly I see her relax. "I'm just… Doing that is… Intimacy is part of my fear landscape." I mumble, watching her eyes try to hide her astonishment.

"Wow" is all she seems able to come up with.

"Yeah."

A/N

 **So I hope you guys liked that re-creation of chapter 1, I think that was kinda the premise of the chapter... Also, as I'm re-reading this old story I'm realizing it is pretty rough, so I may go in and tweak bits but it will still be 2014 me's writing cus aint no body got time fo that. Chapter 2 will be posted some time tomorrow then I'll try to get a posting schedule going with this and my other story. I know I kinda went off the rail and very MIA so if you guys want to know anything regarding all that let me know. Also, side note (I know, crazy, I never side note): I would just like to give a shout out to all the significant others who let their other take naps on them, because we've been in this fucking airport for 12 hours now but I've been asleep for ten and boyfriend hauled some serious ass when I woke up because I guess he needed to pee. Snaps to that boy he the real MVP. Makes my day when I get reviews and messages from you guys because it shows me that you actually exist and want me to keep writing. I'm always around to talk so please dont hesitate to ask me anything, you guys were there for me and I'll always do my best to be there for you. I'm gunna go scavenge for food, if you don't hear from me in the next 48 hours assume I've either fallen asleep on boyfriend again or I starved. Love you guys, let me know what you think and what changes you want made to the story 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey hey! So this is the second last chapter I have to completely re-write, and after chapter 3 things should start coming faster because I just have to go over my old writing and do some editing. Please let me know what you think and if you want to see the plot change a bit or what kind of ~naughty~ scenes you guys want. Reviews and favourites mean the world to me, and as always I'm around to talk if you guys want or need it. Honesty hour: this time of year can be tough on me because it was the most recent time I had a depressive episode (around last new year) so I understand if you guys want some internet hugs too. Enjoy**

* * *

(Tobias)

I hear the door slam shut from where I sit in the kitchen.

"Hey! How was shopping?" I shout through the doors while I finish cleaning up.

The only answer was a string of shrieking curse words muffled by what sounds like pillow and fists wailing against my bed.

"So it went well then?" I say, walking through the kitchen into the rest of the apartment's open floor plan, the punching bag swinging from what I'm assuming was the initial thumps i heard when she came in. She lies face down, her little body limp and defeated on the covers.

"I hate people" she mumbles into the pillow, slamming her head into it repeatedly.

"oooook there little one, no need for you to concuss yourself," I laugh, picking her up and flinging her over my shoulder like a little sac of potatoes, "great timing for your hatred though, we're leaving for a party right now."

She stiffens, starting to thrash against me, hardly slowing my steps out of the door.

"NO" She cries, hammering her fists against my back, "I don't want to" she sighs, giving up and relaxing into me.

Most of the younger dauntless crowd, Tris's group and the 4 or so years before her, were getting together at one of the bigger apartments to let loose before the ball, but really, it was an excuse for them all to get piss drunk and dare each other to stupidity and beyond.

"I'm not even dressed." She mumbles into the back of my black t-shirt.

I scoff at her weak attempt of an excuse. We walk in silence for a while, her head thudding against my back as she hangs limp over my shoulder. My footsteps are the only sounding echoing around us in the dark grey tunnels.

"You know what I've noticed?" Tris asks a couple minutes later, breaking the comfortable silence.

"What?" I ask, readjusting my grip on her small thighs.

"For someone who's constantly going on and on about how much he believes in me, how strong and brave you think I am, you sure don't hesitate to toss me around like a child." She huffs, crossing her arms across her chest while dangling over me.

My mouth curves into a smile, "Do you promise you wont try to run away if I put you down?" I ask in the most patronizing tone I can manage.

"I promise that I'll throw you on your ass if you don't put me down." She mumbles. My grin widens. Suddenly, I loosen my grip on her as if I was about to let her fall on her face, but grab her the last second, my hand finding ground right on her backside.

"You asked for it" She squeals, still laughing.

My knees buckle as she slams her fist into the backs of them, using all her force to send me flying backwards. Her hands crawl up the back of my thighs like spiders as I fight gravity, and somehow, within seconds, I'm on my back with her knees pinned on my chest.

"Now are you going to run away, or do I have to carry you?" She says, smiling to herself. I fight back my grin, pulling her shoulders down and her mouth to mine.

"I've taught you well." I murmur into her lips, stealing a quick pec as she rolls her eyes at me. She helps me up and we walk side by side in easy conversation, the entire time with me trying not to stare down at her for longer than normal.

We heard the party before we saw it, the blasting rock with a bass so loud that it sent bits of loose overhead rubble and dust tumbling around us, our voices silenced by the roars of laughter and overall sense of bravado that pulsed in the air. We rounded the corner out of the tunnel and came to a short hallways of three doors, all belonging to members from my year, each metal frame throw wide open to accommodate the stream of teetering people in black from head to toe. Liquor punctured the air already drowned in spilled beer and sweaty bodies. Tris's hand feels warm as it winds around my bicep, pulling me closer to her to narrowly dodge the pierced couple viciously making out right in front of us.

We round into the second of the 3 doors, this apartment seemingly less insane than the others. A squeal pierces the thudding music, like a shark parting the sea a stumbling Christina elbows her way through the crowd of grinding bodies.

"Trixxxxxx" she slurrs, barreling into Tris, her black leather dress doing little to cover her tanned skin. I reach out to grab them and stop Christina from squishing Tris against the dark rock wall, but Tris holds up a hand and shakes her head, smiling at a very, very drunk Christina. Tris's thin arms flex as she rights Christina, pulling the hem of her dress down for her.

"Well, I take it you're having a good time Chris?" Tris smiles, stepping back towards me. I wind my hand around her waist, careful not to shift her black t-shirt too much, already all too aware of the hungry stares of the men in the room.

Christina steps back, her eyes staring at my hand on Tris.

"Oh my god its too cute" she slurs, clasping her hands in front of her chest, "Four! I can't believe you snagged Four for christ's sake Tris"

I shift uncomfortably. Out of my element is by far an exaggeration at this point.

I nod my head and smile at her, "Hello to you too Christina."

Before she can respond with what I can only assume would have been another uncomfortable comment, I hear a low, greasy voice.

"Well well well, looks like the cat's out of the bag eh there old Four?" Eric says, clasping his hand on my shoulder. His piercings cast eerie shadows along his face, like hollows in a rock.

I can smell his breath from where I stand as he circles to the front of us, pungent with vodka and some other crap.

"Eric." I say in greeting, subconsciously angling my body in front of Tris.

"So what's it like stiff? Banging your way to the top? Here I thought that maybe you had it in you, but really", Eric said, his greasy stare gliding over Tris like tar, "you just had him in you." His laugh booms out like a drum.

"Eric," I say, letting go of Tris and stepping towards him, "I would stop now if you don't want what happened in our initiation fights to be repeated." I say in a quiet growl, but people had already slowed their dancing, turning their heads to watch as his spine stiffens and he spits near my feet.

"You got lucky then Four," he scoffs, stepping back as I step forward, a circle starting to clear around us, "but sitting behind a monitor all day because that's all you can do… well, it's no wonder you can fuck whatever comes crawling to you." He says loudly, his eyes squinting.

"If you were smart you would shut up." I mumble, relaxing in my stance but feeling rage rip through me like water rushing through gates.

"Or what? Don't fucking pretend she's more than just a little slam piece you're going to toss away." He says. I clench my jaw, just waiting for him to continue, but he turns on his heels and goes to swagger away. Before I know it, my fist meets the side of his head, the impact tensing up the muscles all up my arm as he falls to the floor.

"Jesus," I say, stretching my fingers out, "your skull really is as thick as it seems."

I turn on my heels, listening for him but he doesn't get up.

"Oh, and by the way," I say, turning back to face him, "I'm in love with that little thing."

(Tris)

My jaw drops at the roar of whoops and hollers, but Tobias doesn't give me time to recover as he walks over to me and scoops my head into his hands, his mouth crushing mine in a smile, his hand pulling my neck in and eventually I wind my arms around his neck smiling.

He loves me.

Tobias Eaton is in love with me.

Before I can study his face and breathe in the moment, we're both yanked forward, stumbling to catch our balance as Christina -who is apparently completely oblivious to the very emotional scene par taking- holds up a bottle of tequila and slams a bag of limes into Tobias' chest.

"Body shots time bitchesssss"

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Ok so I'm sure you can see how it will be sexy coming soon. Sorry my author's note ain't all that cheery, I've just been trying to reach the pasta on the top shelf for like 15 minutes because I need to stress eat because our fucking neighbours (we live in a dorm on campus) think it's hilarious to bang on our bedroom wall at 4 in the FUCKING MORNING so that I go out and yell at them because boyfriend thinks its funny when I'm grumpy and does dick all. So -and don't ask me why because it started when I was drunk- I have this thing where I go into their room and throw pasta at them when I'm pissed and last night we didn't have pasta so I had to throw grapes while I yelled at them and it wasn't nearly as satisfying so boyfriend was a good boyfriend and went out and got us pasta (I'm also just a total carb fiend) but he forgot that I'm 4'11 and put it on the shelf of shame (top shelf) so now I'm hungry because we also don't have grapes and I'm sorry for rambling and promise next chapter will be sexy. Moral of the story, always have pasta on hand. Love you guys.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello hello! So good news, This was the last Chapter I had to re-write so from now on I can probably start posting every other day! Sorry I did such a crappy job editing, I'm studying like crazy and writing and editing is my study break (which I take too often, but hey, who needs to get into med school amiright?) so I try to restrain myself from getting caught up on it.I would also like to mention that the people who PM'd me about the author's note about my hangry pasta story, you are the lights of my life and shout out to you guys and your empathy. On another note, I would like to give warning that this chapter involves tequila and I adamantly loathe tequila because it tastes like what I imagine juiced sharpies would tase like (btw, legal drinking age in Canada is 18-19 so I AM NOT A LAW BREAKER (16 year old me aint that innocent but just ignore her)) but boyfriend likes it so we allow it to cross our threshold. That point was really all just for me to say a big old fuck you to tequila. Ok I'm gunna go back to studying. Byeeeeeeeeeee**

* * *

(Tris)

Christina yanks my hand, ignoring my yelp. We dive into the crowd of writhing bodies pressed against us, slipping on spilled alcohol, winding our way around drunken fights and grabbing hands until eventually we're pushed out into a dark little alcove filled with my year's initiates and a few other people I've never seen, all sitting around dark leather couches with stuffing and springs poking out of their grungy cushions. This seems a bit more manageable, the privacy wall blocking out most of the roaring music so that it was just a quite rhythm in the background, familiar faces throwing peace signs and waves as greetings over their red plastics cups.

I turned to Christina, watching her lazy gaze as she takes in Will lounging in a bean bag winking at her. Slowly, I drag my foot backwards, feeling the uneven ground behind me thrumming with the base, but just as I turn to make my way back towards Tobias, a hands wraps around my bicep and pulls me with excessive force straight back.

"And where the hell do you think you're going?" Christina asks, trying to strike an assertive pose I'm sure but ending up with her arms crossed too low and her shoulders cocked so far over I was afraid she would fall over into the dim lamp beside her.

"Well Four probably doesn't want to crash the mood, you know, since he was our instructor and all. So I'm just gunna go hang with him since-" I say, backing into the crowd as I speak, but Christina spins me around and pushes me back with a hiccup. I'm scared to hold my ground in case she would fall and crack her head on the cold floor.

"No no," she says, slurring as she held up a hand, "you are gunna sit your cute little ass over there," she pointed to a love seat tucked into the corner, "or so help me god I'll never let you hear the end of it."

I hold my hands up in defence, backing into the love-seat. Although even on a normal day I could easily get around Chris and make my way to Tobias before she even went to grab me - let alone in her current state-, I did as she told because not only was there not a shadow of a doubt that she would indeed never shut up about it, but seeing her drag Tobias around would make for great revenge for him forcing me to come here.

Sure enough, within a couple minutes an extremely annoyed Tobias was being dragged by Chris through the crowd, but instead of them having to walk elbows out, people sidestepped them - or rather him- careful to blow their smoke and spill their drinks away from his looming form. The worn leather seemed to get a new line in it every time I moved, the whole thing shrinking slightly as Tobias sat down next to me, stiff as a board as he put a protective arm around me.

"Here stiff," Uriah smiles, handing me and Tobias cans with a skull dribbling on its front, "drink up."

I pop the top, licking at the bubbles that threaten to poor over. Glancing up, I see Tobias looking down at me with an eyebrow quirked at my tongue still out. He pulls his arm tighter around me as he pops the top and tilts the can back with one fluid motion in time with a roll of his eyes. Coordinated bastard.

The foam is thick on my tongue and tastes faintly of over leavened bread that we used to get delivered to Abnegation, with a bitter aftertaste to match, but it together it somehow has a comforting taste, so I continue to sip at the can, curling my legs up. Comfortable drunk chatter chirps around us, everyone eager to tell their stories about dares they've done, risks they've taken, fights they've won, and even jobs they want. Will looks over to me and Tobias from under a howling Chris -too caught up in some joke one of the older members had said- and looks nervously up to Tobias.

"So um… Four, how's work?" he asks, trying his best at small talk.

Zeke laughs into his drink at Will, splashing some dark coloured liquid all over his pants.

Tobias smiles, "Will, I'm not your instructor anymore, I'm just like all the other idiots here." He says, pointing his chin out to the rest of the circle, noticing one of the new members trying to snort his drink. "Well, maybe not like him."

Zeke relaxes into the couch and sighs, "Thank god man, cut I've really been trying to hold it together but I am soooooo fucked rn." he says, forming his fingers into an awkward heart with his cup in hand then pointing at Tobias.

We laugh, watching as Christina tries to rise up to her feet but settles for sitting up and gathering the group's attention by waving her hands and shouting over the music.

"On that note fuckers, lets get drunkkkk" she cries, shaking her chest then pushing Will back down into the bean bag.

People around us start to pair up, one lying down on their backs, the other patiently waiting for the bottle to be passed around. I fidget uncomfortably as people started to kiss necks and rustle around in each others clothing, but Tobias leans down and speaks into my ear over the music, his breath smelling faintly of the beer in his hand.

"These," he motions with the hand over my shoulder, "are what hormone ranging teenagers like to call body shots. One person lies down with salt in on their neck -that's why they're licking each other- and a lime in their mouth. The other one pours a shot of some gut wrenching liquor into the belly button of the person lying down. Lick, suck, bite. It's really just an excuse for hormone driven teenagers to touch each other and get drunk, but thats essentially what most Dauntless parties are."

We smile lounging into the couch and watching as people pair off. My eyes eventually land on Lynn, her uncomfortable glare gazing over the group. She meets my glance and smiles wickedly.

"Whats wrong Trissy" she coos, "too selfish to share a little glimpse of Four?"

I roll my eyes, "I don't see you reaching for the bottle Lynn."

Her eyes dart towards Marlene for a second, then rest on me, her throat bobbing for a reply but Christina lifts her head up from Will's stomach at the sound of Lynn's voice.

"Trixxxs just because you guys haven't had slept tog-" she slurrs, but before she gets the chance to finish I push Tobias down, spilling his beer as he stares up at me, stunned.

"Just hand me the fucking bottle." I groan, reaching my hand out with closed eyes.

A thunder of whoops follows, someone handing me a little steel bowl of salt with a lime wedge already cut sitting in it, quickly after which a bottle of something that smelt like permanent markers was plopped down beside the couch. Luckily, once people were convinced we were getting started, they drifted back into their own worlds of shirt pulling and neck licking and lip biting and god knows what else. Tobias sat up, coming face to face with me.

"Let's get out of here." Here murmured, going to stand.

I look over out at my friends, all so shameless, not a care in the world. No flinching at one another's touch, no shying away from a kiss. They're all so… so normal. My eyes flashed to Tobias's deep blue reassuring stare, his smile motioning for me to stand so we could walk back to the doors, kiss goodnight and that be it.

I switch my mind into Dauntless mode, forgetting about my concern and just taking a stupid risk. My back slammed into the cushions behind me, rotating so Tobias was straddling my hips. He shook his head and rolled his eyes with as he grabbed my shoulders, knowing I must be kidding.

I pull him down, pleading with my eyes, "Please," I whisper, "I just want to be normal, or at least try to be, for one night."

"Tris, come on you have nothing to prove, this is stupid." He says, careful not to put any of his weight on me as he goes to stand. I do the first thing that pops into my mind, ripping my shirt up just below my ribs, grabbing the bottle and pouring a shot into my belly button before Tobias has time to react.

"Ooopsie" I singsong at his hesitant stare, "well looks like someone is going to have to drink it."

A devilish grin strikes his features, the music and slurping around us fading away at the sight of him towering over me. My pulse thunders in my ears, so loud I'm sure he hears it when he brushes his lips against mine and murmurs "I forgot I'm dealing with an idiotic hormone driven teenager."

He crawls backwards so he's sitting on his heels between my legs, the dim light overhead shadowing his smirk. Rough calluses find my bare waist, and as hard as I try, I feel my body lock up, ice frosting its way through my veins. Tobias starts to lean away, the couch groaning under his shifting weight, but when he catches my defeated stare, he shakes his head grinning at me.

"You asked for it."

He plunges down, ignoring me stiffness as he licks from just above the buckle on my black jeans, up to my navel. Like fire on ice, my stomach begins to relax under his mouth as his tongue replaces the tequila in my belly button, swirling its way around it in a way that gets echoed all over my body. The gentle yet hardened fingers of his hands trail along the worn sofa, their pads trailing around my waist making every single hair on my skin where he touches stand on end, yearning for his touch again.

I freeze.

 _Thud, thud, thud,_ every pulse of my heart drums louder in my ears than the last, and I'm no longer hearing the whiney rock music or the whispered moans around me. I can only feel my chest tightening as if every shallow breath is the beating of a bird's dark wings against a shrinking cage. This is fear. This is fear slashing at my instincts like claws through a curtain. This is fear wiping my senses like I've been pushed off a cliff.

My vision flickers, then met the night's sky perched above a pursed mouth. Tobias is sitting back up on his heels, rubbing at my knee in an attempt to comfort me without encroaching on my space. He doesn't realize that he isn't what I fear, but what breaks me from it; he's the night sky my bird can break free into and finally let my breath go like I've burst free from nearly drowning.

I groan, leaning my head back into the smell of smoke and reeking teenagers once again, my hands covering my face.

"Ok, so why don't _you_ go first maybe?" I say, leaning up and pushing him down under me before he can protest, lifting his shirt just high enough to see his navel and pouring a sizeable amount of tequila into it.

"Jesus Tris, you don't always have to be stupidly Dauntless." He says, sounding annoyed at my resilience.

I lean back, smiling down at him being trapped by the puddle of tequila on him. Trying not to be too obvious, I drink in the sight of his newly exposed skin, the tan skin flush against toned muscles and the thin trace of golden hair running from an inch below his belly button and disappearing under his dark jeans.

"Well if I knew this was the view I'd have already been a lot drunker by this point." I say.

He laughs, causing his abs to tighten up deliciously and splash some tequila down his side.

 _Deep breath Tris._

I reach down and grab the can below me, still 3/4 full, and feel the condensation drip down my wrist as I throw my head back, chugging the beer as fast as I ca. Tossing the can behind me, I look down and give him the most devilish grin I can muster, then get to work. The sofa creaks under me as I slide back, then very tentatively I rest my hands on either side of his muscular V shape right above his hips.

I do as he did, instead of trailing my tongue I lead with little kisses, my confidence already building as my head feels a bit lighter after the beer. I swirl my tongue in his belly button, sucking up the shot and feeling his muscles tense at my touch. My pony tail nearly whips me in the head as I jolt up coughing.

"Oh my god," I cough taking the can Tobias hands me and chugging its contents in a desperate attempt to wash the burning off my tongue and out of my throat, "that tastes like acid."

Tobias smiles up at me taking the can from my hands and giving me a questioning look when he feels how light it is.

"I'm gunna need another beer before I subject myself to that again." I say, careful to keep my balance as I lean over him to reach for another can, none too careful as to just how over top of him I lean.

"That's called alcoholism little one." Tobias laughs, sitting up and taking the drink from my hands.

"I like to think of it as having fun," I say, feeling more careless, more Dauntless than usual, "and I want to try having some more fun."

Leaning back, I pour another shot into my belly button, this time grinning up at Tobias and guiding him down towards me.

"Ok, ok. But we're tipsy, so these shots," he says pointing to him then me "are as much touching as we're doing tonight. Can I show you a little trick though?" He says, probably noticing how his words relaxed me even further.

I nod.

"So first, you need some salt," he says, grabbing the little dish and pulling it closer. His mouth finds my neck, his breath warm against my skin before his tongue glides along my pulse point, gently wetting my neck as his fingers trail down my shoulder. He sprinkles salt where his mouth just was, some crystals falling onto the couch but the majority sticking to my neck. " That helps get the shot down. Next, the actual shot -tequila- which you seem to have covered. " His hand points down to my belly button as he grins at me. "And lastly," he says, grabbing the wedge of lime and placing it rind down in between my lips, "lime. That helps mask the taste right after the shot.

"Lick." he murmurs against my neck, trailing his tongue deliciously against the salt crystals and leaving a wake of heat after it.

"Suck." his fingers trail from my shoulder to just below my ribs, finding ground as they wrap around my waist. His tongue dives into my belly button agains, this time causing me to push my head farther back into the sofa, every inch of my body wanting more.

"Bite." He smiles, careful to only let our lips touch for a fraction of a second as he dives down and steals the lime wedge from my mouth. I run my fingers down his shoulder to his arm and guide his hand back to my waist.

"Didn't quite catch that, show me again?" I grin wickedly, watching his face light up.

We kept going for what felt like seconds but also hours, time disappearing along with the rest of the world as every shot we alternated our lips lingered in all 3 places for longer each time. Eventually he as taking most of the shots, eyeing me cautiously. Neither of us would get to a place where our senses would be thrown off, always prepared for what the world threw at us, but we both let our muscles relax and heads become heavier for a moment.

After a while, our shots took longer, lime wedges disappearing and salt being forgotten, but we were finally pulled from our bubble when we heard laughter. Our heads rose, both of us trying to hide our laughs at the sight of Christina passed out on Will, who didn't look too far off from being out himself.

I rolled out from under Tobias and scooped Chris onto my shoulders, teetering a bit more with her added weight.

"I guess I'll take this one back to the dorms. See you in the morning." I winked at him.

It wasn't a long walk, most was already dying down as I slip through the crowd, and getting to the dorms was a breeze.

It wasn't until I was pulling an unconscious Christina'd blanket over her did I hear the footsteps follow me in.

Then he grabbed me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! So from now on I should be able to post more often because I have all the chapters written out. To be honest though, looking back at my writing, some of it is pretty rough, especially all the sex scenes so I'm gunna try to post every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and either Saturday or Sunday, but I have to also keep up with my other story so there may be a missed day here or there. My usual more chatty note will be down on the bottom and I apologize to like the 2 people who actually read it, because I rant. Reviews mean the world to me because they show me people actually read this crap, so please do leave one if you get a chance 3 otherwise, enjoy this short lil chapter whilst I go write my other story. Byyyyeeeeeeee**

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The cold of the stone behind me reaches my bones, chilling me as if I were plastered against damp ice. The same hand still covers my mouth, the other now presses hard into my stomach, pinning me to the wall. I try not to wince at the feeling of the rocks behind me puncturing my skin, I know any and all signs of fear or pain will just bring him joy.

The small alcove he dragged me into couldn't be more than 50 feet from the dorms, but it's too far away, too shadowed for anyone to hear me scream. Dark stone covers us from the hallway, the floor damp and the air tasting bitter and stale against my wheezing lips. The only light comes from flickering lights in the deserted hallway, their brightness somehow finding a wavering path into the hollow I'm trapped in.

"What's wrong Stiff? Big bad Four not here to help you?" Eric's breath is hot in my face as he speaks, the smell of alcohol still lingering on his breath. I bite down on his hand until the metallic taste of blood trickles onto my tongue, and he finally wrenches it away from me. He draws it back and examines the wound before he winds back and slaps me across the face, his blood smearing itself and blending in with the red mark left on my cheek.

"You little bitch!" He shouts, pressing harder into my stomach making me cry out in pain, tears threaten to overflow my eyes but I blink them back. He presses harder until I'm sure he can feel the coldness of the wall seeped through my stomach, then drops me to the ground. I lay on my hands and knees gasping for air and gagging, but when I go to stand and run, his hand finds my pony tail, whipping me up on my feet. I bite my lip as to not cry out. "Huh little stiff?" He pulls my hair back so my neck is exposed.

"What? What do you have to say? Let's see if I can try and see why Four hangs around you." He bites my collar bone in what I can only imagine he thinks is a passionate, sexual way but his second of distraction gives me an opening. I thrust up with all my might with my knee, just as Tobias taught me. Eric staggers backwards, more than usual I note. He still must be drunk.

I look around, knowing I won't be able to outrun him even when he is drunk, I try to think of a weapon. But before I can grab anything, Eric's charging me.

I side step him and manage to lift my leg high enough in a kick to nail him in the back, forcing him down on his stomach. His head smacks the stone loudly, a trail of blood trickling it's way down from his eyebrow to his jaw.

"That fucking does is Stiff" he stand wiping the blood in his eye, "When I've had my fun with you I'll be sure to tell Four about it when I beat the shit out of him." This angers me more than anything, so I run and slam my fist into his face, feeling his nose breaking against the heel of my palm , but he grabs me before I can recoil.

"Jesus Christ! What the fuck?! You little bitch, what does it matter to you? I thought you would love this, just fucking your way up the totem pole." He holds me against a wall, I can't breath but his hand wander up my shirt, un-clipping my bra. I freeze. I'm paralyzed with fear, as he continues. My legs give out but he's still holding me up

"Oh you like that stiff?" I try to shout but no sound comes. "Just think about it, after I beat the shit out of Four we can bone all we like."

With the mention of Tobias being hurt, a switch flips inside of me. I take him by surprise and hook one leg around his and pull, he land on his back but before he can react I jump on his shin, feeling them break beneath me. While he's incapacitated by the pain I kick his right arm, shattering something inside, I'm sure. He lies there powerless, mouth shut. I put my foot on his throat, and lean down so he can hear me, seeing as I'm barely able to muster more than a whisper right now.

"Listen to me Eric. Don't you ever come near Four and I again, or we will kill you. Understand?" He lets out a grunt, which I take as a yes.

I turn to walk away, but quickly think better and kick him in the head. Hard.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **I just wanted to say that I know this is a hard time of year for alot of people, I'm personally struggling with whether or not to go back home for the holidays and be triggered by my family. I've been having a hard time if I'm honest, feeling my depression pressing down on me at the most random times and then it will disappear like it's trying to trick me. This second I feel fine, but maybe in an hour or two I'll feel like there's no point, and thats really fucking scary. I wanted to say this because I want you guys to feel ok about PM'ing me, just for someone to talk to, I get that feeling of isolation and when no one understands you, so know you've got someone here. On another note, (because I'vm a happy gal at this moment after getting some lovely PM's) may I please have some support in the fact that it is not too late to decorate for Christmas? My only standing argument against Grinch (boyfriend -_-) is that once I put the tree up and make our place festive as Santa's asshole itself (his words, not mine) it means I'll start baking Christmas treats but then I also don't want to get fat because then how can I koala on him when I'm sad. See my dilema? Hence, it is not too early to bring Christmas cheer to our place and I shouldn't have to bargain Christmas food for it (I already bake too much and we're going to get holiday chubby) HELP ME. Sorry, I needed to rant**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey hey, so no time for a lengthy authors note because I'm pretty sure I'm low key a little bit asleep right now. We were watching Netflix and 5 mins in I fell asleep (a talent of mine if I do say so myself) and about 2 minutes ago I jolted awake so hard that I shouldered boyfriend where it hurts most and flat out kicked cat in the head but I realized I DIDNT UPLOAD which neither of them deemed a valid excuse for my actions. Right now I'm getting "I will suffocate you in your sleep eyes" from cat and there was the verbal threat of being squished by boyfriend so I'm gunna have to pull the all time MMA move and hit him with the old fall asleep on top him again (I don't know why I'm not a professional fighter tbh). Anyways. Great ramble. I don't even know how to sign off except enjoy my shitty little writing and say a lil prayer my cat doesnt hate me.**

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(Tobias's POV)

It was taking me forever to make Will shut up, so I give up and brought him to Zeke's place to crash, it being way closer than the dormitories. Once I'm in the pit, tonight's events hit me fully. I said it. I told Tris that I am in love with the weird little human being that she is. Tris wants to. face her fear.… Holy shit.

I kick an empty beer can that reflected the little light in the hallway given that there was, the eerie red glow of the security camera bouncing off the can like some bloody spider web. I don't care. I start to run just so I can get too tired to grin, heading towards my place. Tris is probably fast asleep there by now.

My feet carry me on the smooth stone tunnel floors while mind drifts off, when suddenly, I'm flat on my face. I stare at my feet to see what I tripped over. Under me, lies a very broken looking, very unconscious Eric. His ruby piercings had pulled at the skin so bits of blood oozed from his lip and eyebrow, like twisted tears muddling into his disheveled hair. Snapping back to my sense, his presence sobers me. I study him, his slow and shallow rise and fall of his chest takes my initial worry away, but this is definitely more damage than I did to him today. Blood covers his arms, stains his pants and paints his face, his head looks like someone took a hammer to it, so covered in bruises I can hardly see his pale skin. Who ever did this knew how to fight. Good for them, Eric needed to get some shit kicked out of him, I just hope the dumb bastard was smart enough to run.

Curiosity prickles at the back of my neck, and I scan my surroundings. There wasn't much, just the little alcove that I had stumbled into, no one around, except for that spider web glow. Up where the wall meets the ceiling a few yards from where I stand, I see a little red light flash. That's all I needed.

I hoist Eric over my shoulder and start into a run, not paying much attention to whether he hits his head on passing walls or not. Once I leave him at the door of the infirmary, I start to travel upward, all the way to the control room. I bite back the tightness on my rising up my throat as the metal stairs under me creak with my weight, fight not to look down through the little metal holes.

Taking my place in my usual spot, I tap the keyboard to wake the machine up. I type furiously, accessing the footage of that camera downstair, the little red light. I fast forwards, not seeing anything, then a blurred figure runs by, collapsing to the ground. I replay, and my breath hitches. The second I see Eric enter the screen I slam on the keyboard ejecting a chip with the footage on it and sprint down to my place. The rawness of my throat against my panting gasps serve as a reminder that I'm actually sprinting.

"TRIS!" I shout as I slam open my door. To my suprise, nothing has been touched since I left this morning. Shit. Where could she have gone? Maybe back to the initiate dormitories. Slamming the chip onto my dresser I sprint out of my place.

(Tris's POV)

I'm running. I don't know from what, but I know I'm running, and I need to get to him as fast as I can. I stop, so suddenly that I trip and fall, but before I can stand, Tobias's arms are around me "Hey tris" he pulls me up and starts to kiss me but I stop him, grabbing his arm and pulling him with me. He runs, but I don't hear his foot steps, only his breathing beside me.

"What the hell Tris?" I turn to respond but he isn't there anymore. I'm in the chasm, holding onto a rock , the water slamming me against it like a bottle bobbing in a storm's ocean. I can't hold on anymore, and it's all over.

But the bobbing doesn't stop. And the sounds of rushing water is replaced by that of steady steps. I inhale, expecting a lungful of water, but instead smell warmth and fire and trees and a hint of sweat and… Tobias. I open my eyes and realize I'm bobbing because I'm draped over his shoulder, his back stiff, each muscle on edge. I clear my throat and shake my head, trying to rid myself of the dream and bring some context back into the situation.

"Uhh... Tobias?" He doesn't stop walking, or put me down.

"Nice to see you're talking to me" he retorts, his voice pierces my spine and injects frost into my body. I hear him tussle in his pockets for his keys, then unlocks a door, looking up I recognize the wall across from his apartment.

"Tobias what the hell is going on?"

" Apparently I don't know. What's wrong with you Tris?" He exclaims. He's so tense, I'm scared he' could to kill someone, but he gently pulls me off setting me down on the couch in front of his tv.

"What's wrong with me? With me? Really" I shout at his back. "You just kidnapped me in the middle of the god damn night" I finish, looking around for his clock. 4:27 am. Fabulous.

He freezes on his way to the tv, as if to say something, but thinks better and continues.

"I don't know tris" he says as he grabs something off his dresser, than slamming it into a slot in the tv.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong with me. Because as far as I'm aware, most people tell some one who loves them when they get assaulted." He spits, looking me dead in the eye while he presses the remote. As if on cue, an image of me runs onto the screen, and tonight's events start to play while he glares at me. Wow, I was pinned to that wall for a long time. Eric's mouth is moving on screen but no sound comes other than the constant buzz from the tv.

"Tobias, I figured it didn't matter, you would just get mad or go ba-" he grabs my shoulders, gently, but I can tell he's way beyond mad.

"You don't get it tris." He exhales. "I can't imagine what would have happened if he had gone after you once you got away" he says, pain creeping into his voice.

"Um Tobias... I don think he cou-" but before I can finish he's talking again.

"Stop. Why the hell didn't you come and get me? He easily could have followed you. I can't have you taking risks just for pride Tris. I can't live without you. Every single thing that hurts you is ten times worse for me, you just can't. I'm need you. I love you" he seems to have relaxed while he got over that, realizing that I'm ok now. He pulls me into him, breathing deeply and resting his chin on the top of my head.

"Tobias. I didn't run. I fought him off" I say, not trying to ruin the moment, just clear it up. He pulls back immediately.

"You... You did that? I found him and he was... I thought.." He fades off, looking at me with amazement. I nod yes.

"I thought you would react too quickly and kill him or something. I just crawled back to the dormitories and went to sleep. Anyways, I figured you'd be asleep, and I didn't want to wake you." He just stares at me, then takes my head into his hands, his breath warm and inviting against my lips.

The kiss I'm anticipating doesn't come, instead he murmurs "you're insane. Amazing, but insane" he ends that with a long kiss. I'm cradled in his lap, his hands still bracing my face, gentle but wanting. I wrap my arms around his neck and he stiffens.

"I'm going to kill him" he growls. Twisting my head, the monitor now depicts me with tears in my eyes as Eric withdraws his hand, covered in his own blood. Something inside me twist, making me feel sick. Remembering what comes next I hide my face in my hands, feeling the dried blood on my palm. Eric's hand collides with my face and Tobias stops breathing. I pull his eyes away from the screen momentarily

"I'm going to go wash up. You can keep on watching, remember, I do kick his ass in the end."I say before I run to the bathroom.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hola. So sorry about las night's/this morning's author's note, I was half asleep and rambling like non other (which honestly is just me most of the time) but here's the next chapter, I'll try to get my other story updated today or tomorrow butI'm drowning in work so getting an A in pharmacology takes priority over writing andRowan and Aelin bangity banging, even though we both know which i would rather be doing. Feel free to leave me a review, favourite or follow because they all mean the world to me. I hope you enjoy this lil fluffy chapter.**

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(Tris)

Cold water splashes my face and hands, dripping down and swirling with water in the basin, Eric's blood tainting it a light shade of pink. Once the water coming off me runs back down clear, I raise my head. I try to force my eyes up to look in the mirror, but they continue to watch the water. The pinkish liquid ripples under the tears that roll down my chin. That's weird. I didn't think I was crying.

Before I can get too deep into thought, I pull to plug and watch the evidence of tonight's events mix together and seep into the drain. Out of sight. I can still hear Tobias growling outside, so I decide to let him cool off. I step out of my shoes and peel off my jeans and shirt. I didn't realize they were clinging so tightly to me, damp with sweat and stained with Eric's blood in some places. I step into the shower and turn on the water.

The thing about dauntless apartments is you can tell you're underground, with almost everything being carved into the solid stone we call home, but in the right setting, you can draw the warmth and comfort from the earth. Protection. The stone under my feet turns from pale grey to black while the water splashes it. I press my palm to the glass panel to raise the temperature, letting the water scald me. _Breathe in, breathe out_. Reach for the soap that smells like Tobias. _Breathe in, breathe out._ Take in the steam rising up like a blanket around me. _Breathe in, breathe out._ I'm not really aware of what I'm doing, but my body doesn't seem to mind all that much. Each movement comes after the next, and the next thing I know I'm standing with my back pressed against the cooling glass, wrapped in a towel.

Aw crap. I never changed into pyjamas when I got back to the dormitories, too exhausted I guess. But that means all I'm left to sleep in is a sweaty T-shirt and some jeans. I know Tobias wouldn't let me do that so I don't even bother trying to ease them back on. I pace up and down the bathroom, trying to think of a solution. Movement catches my eye, and I turn, not sure what I'm expecting to see. I stare face to face with a girl who looks exactly like me. But different. Her eyes look darker, not tired, but as if they've been haunted, seen pain. Her muscles are more defined, making her scrawny build pass for athletic. I press my hand to hers, my fingers touching nothing but a barrier, each finger creating a little steam mark on the glass. I take a deep breath, wrap my towel tightly around me and turn away from the mirror.

Peaking my head out of the door, I watch Tobias. His face remains tense, his eyes trained on the ground introns of hi as he paces back and forth. He's not foaming at the mouth anymore, but he's still pissed. I clear my throat and he looks up. He looks confused for a millisecond but then a joking smile tugs at his lips. "I don't know about you, but when I stay the night at someone's place I'm at least polite enough to wear clothes." He says while trying to keep a straight face. When I look at him expectantly he breaks, showing off his lopsided grin.

"Second drawer from the top" he points to his dresser and walks away, going into the kitchen and giving me some privacy.

(Tobias)

I hear the familiar click as the kitchen sorry swings shut behind me. I grip the kitchen counter as hard as I can, trying not to shout in frustration. Tris is pushing herself, and I know it. I just hope it isn't only for me. Watching that footage tonight... It was too much. I nearly stormed out to the infirmary to kill Eric, but thought better of it in case Tris needed me.

I count to ten, with each number I exhale for as long as I can, then go get two glasses out of the cabinet. The hinges creak while I open it, and then I'm drowned into the silence. Robotically, I fill the glasses with water, taking time to make sure they are perfectly even. Balancing them in one hand, I knock on the door that lead back into "come in" Tris squeaks. I push the door open and stop immediately. Tris lies at the foot of my bed on her stomach,facing away from me. Her ankles cross and I look and and see she's reading one of the few books I have in my place. But that's not what made me stop. Tris's figure is only covered by one of my T-shirts, the fabric ending midway down her thigh. This is the most Tris has ever let me see, so I waste no time and drink it all in.

I don't know how long I've been standing there, lost in her beauty, when she finally turns around, she grins ear to ear. This was obviously the reaction she was hoping for. I'm still in shock, so I set the waters on the nearest surface, and excuse myself. "I'm... Uh... Im gunna go brush my teeth." I mumble out. As I walk to the bathroom my eyes never leave hers and she grins devilishly. The moment the door shuts behind me, I lean into it and sink to the ground, hands in my hair. Woah.

(Tris)

Tobias closes the door quickly, muffling the immediate "thump" I assume to be slumping into it. I can't hold back the delight anymore so I roll around in victory, stretching my arms above my head, calming myself down. The sheets beneath me are warm and soft, full of life , and with every little movement, they release I little bit of his scent. I lose myself, pressing my face into deeper into the sheets, inhaling deeply, drinking in the moment. Tobias had seen me, in only my lace boy shorts (I will give Chris props just this once) and his shirt, and didn't seem disappointed, more surprised than anything.

Then it hits me. What if no more than a month ago, before my initiation, was there just another girl lying here? What if it was her who had slept with him, giving themselves completely to my Tobias. They could give him what I can't. Whipping my head up from the covers, I gasp for air, suffocated, but my lungs are only met with icy shards. My knees find their way up into my chest, met by my face. Somehow, they stay completely still, no rise and fall of my chest to affect them, and their tops are cold from the wet tears now flowing onto them.


	7. Chapter 7

(Tobias)

The glass is cold on my fingers, but I let them trail along it it while I walk. Each footstep has a purpose, following the next as it should, but all I can think about it the lifeless feeling of the glass brushing my fingers. Each step I take echoes, but there is another sound. I recognize it at once, foot steps so quick and quite, it has to be Tris, but why the hell is she running? I look around to where the sound is coming from, and she runs in, looking over her shoulder as she sprints, completely absorbed in whatever follows her.

"Tris, what's going on?" I shout.

Her head whips around to face me and her face goes white, her heels dig into the floor and she stops in her tracks. When her eyes meet mine she screams, tears falling from her eyes. I run towards her, my fingers still trailing behind me on the glass, and when I reach her, she collapses into me. Her full weight presses into me, but she's so small and fragile I don't even stager, instead I pull her into me with my one arm that's free, and wait for her to calm down. Eventually, her screaming dies out and her little figure is wracked with silent sobs.

"Tris. Tris I'm here. What's going on?" Shaking, she reaches out and rests her hand on mine which still touches the glass.

But it's not glass anymore. Instead, a floor to ceiling mirror reflects tris nestled to me, covered in blood, gashes cover her skin and red marks trail up her arms and down her back. "Make it stop" she murmurs into my chest. I bite my lip, pulling her closer to me, but the reflexion stays still. I look down and Tris is now covered in the same wounds as her reflexion, and I look up just in time to see my reflexion speak.

"It's not safe." Then I wake up.

(Tris)

I wake to hear someone talking. I guess some of the others just got up, but do they really need to wake everyone else up? I can't wait to be out of this dormitory. But wait. I'm not in the dormitory, I can't hear the muffled sounds of the pit outside, and these sheets are too soft and warm to be mine. I inhale deeply, and it all comes rushing back to me. Eric assaulted me, I'm in Tobias's place, and I fell asleep at the foot of the bed. My eyelids are heavy, but when I manage to pry them open, I see I'm tucked in, alone in the bed, the covers pulled up to my neck and a glass of water by the side. Tobias must have moved me and put me to bed. I roll over to see where the talking is coming from and see him.

Tobias lies on the ground, as close to me as he can get without actually being on the bed. He only wears sweat pants, his chest bare, but the slow rise and fall of sleep is replaced by rapid breaths, as if he's running. His face looks in pain, his eyebrows drawn together, and his mouth curving down, hanging slightly open as he mutters my name.

"Tris... Tris! I love...you can't! Stop... Stop... Tris!"

His expression is too much for me to handle, I lean over and whisper in his ear "Tobias it's ok" I try to wake him by wiggling his shoulder, but he doesn't so much as stir. I try lifting his side to roll him over, but he's so solid I can't even move him. Panicking, I get out of bad and kneel by him, trying to wake him, but he just continues to look panicked and pained. Suddenly he gasps, sitting up so suddenly we smack foreheads. I stager back but the hit doesn't even register to him. He looks around, panicked, then spots me.

"Tobias, I'm sorry I woke you. You were having a nightmare and I didn't know what to do so I tr-" I start but he just reaches for me and pulls me into him. I sit on his laps, letting him wrap his arms around me and he rests his forehead on top of my head.

His breathing slows, and he seems to calm down.

"You're ok." He mumbles, reaching for my face and studying it. It's not a question, but a statement. I laugh a little, the irony not lost on me at all.

"Tobias. Of course I'm ok! I'm right here." I say, my hand holding his to my cheek. The way he looks at me, it reminds me of how powerful he is. His arms graze me so softly that I can only detect them by there heat, his legs don't even register my weight. He could snap me in half within the blink of an eye, but instead he stares at me like I'm the most solid thing in the world.

Trying to ease some tension and lighten the mood, I stand up, keeping my hands in his.

"So tell me Tobias, do you have some fear of beds? Because the few times I've slept here, you seem to avoid yours." He smiles at this, then lays back down on the ground hand behind his head.

"I really don't mind Tris." He says, shutting his eyes. But I'm not done. I promised myself I would face this fear, and if baby steps is what it takes, then baby steps is what will happen. I let out an exaggerated sigh and lie down next to him.

"I didn't ask if you minded." I say while trying my best to keep my breathing even while I snuggle up next to him. He opens one eye and raises his head, curious.

"But it's a shame,"I sigh again. "that were both going to have to sleep on the floor, because there's no way in hell I'm sleeping alone tonight"

I feel his chest vibrate with laughter, then his strong arms are scooping me up to him while he gets to his feet. His naked chest is warm against me, and I kiss his neck, and trail it up his throat, pulling his head down to mine. He's hesitant at first, his lips careful against mine, but when I twist in his arms, he understands. He readjusts me, so my legs can wrap around his hips, giving his hands freedom to roam where they shall. He goes to readjust his footing, forgetting our proximity to the bed, and his foot catches. We're sent crashing down on the bed, but he twists so I land on him. Laughter wracks our intertwined bodies, I feel happy tears prickle my eyes.

A loud bang on the wall from the apartment next to us distracts us. An angry voice shouts, muffled by the wall "Shut the fuck up! It's not even six yet!"

We laugh silently side by side until the sleepy feeling tugs too hard to resist. Tobias pulls the cover up and over us, kissing me gently. "I love you tris."

But does he really?


	8. Chapter 8

I reach out to pull Tris tighter to me, but the covers I find are cold. Sitting up, I realize I'm alone in my bed, the black alarm clock's red numbers faintly reading 10:24 as they're dimmed by the artificial daylight seeping through the crack in the front door. Tinkering sounds of pots and pans softly hitting the counter top echoed from out under the swinging kitchen door, making me pull the dark grey covers off of myself. I get up and open the kitchen door as quietly as I can. She stands there with her back facing me, obviously oblivious to me. I smell food cooking and see she's rummaged through my cabinets, pulling ingredients out I forgot I had. I can't cook to save my life, so I always eat at the dining hall, along with lots of other dauntless. She flips something over in a skillet, and turns around to open the fridge. She stops when she sees me, a grin lighting up her face. Her hair is tied up in a knot on top of her head, messier than the sleek abnegation style, pieces falling loose and framing her face. She continues pulling bits and pieces from the freezer.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to stare?" She mocks, while biting her lip and smoothing out my T-shirt to cover her legs as much as possible.

"If someone put a great piece of art in front of you, it would be rude not to stare" I retort, stepping behind her and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist. "You look good in that tshirt" I whisper, kissing her just below her ear. She laughs, but I can tell something's up, she's holding back something.

"Sit." she commands, pointing to the breakfast bar. I do as I'm told and within a couple minutes I steaming stack of pancakes sit in front of me. Sitting as close to me as the chairs allow, she piles some pancakes on each of our plate and motions for me to start eating.

"I'm glad you like it on me" she says between chews, "because you're not getting it back". She smiles up at me, her face illuminated with joy, a of mockery in her tone. I take another bite.

"Oh? And why would that be?" I say, getting up and putting on a pot of coffee.

"Well, it's the only thing I've found here so far that doesn't either cling so tight to me I can't breath, or is made out of leather." She says right before tearing into another pancake. Tris is the only girl I can think of complaining about clothes too tight or too short, but she always looks the best in them.

"As long as you don't wear pants with it, I'm happy." I say as I set down two steaming mugs and slide her onto my lap. She rolls her eyes and reaches for her plate, dragging it over so she can finish off what's left.

"Well well well, looks like someone forgot to take off their bossy pants today." She mocks, setting down her plate. She stacks our plates and go to stand, but I grab her by the hips, pulling her tighter to me. She looks up to question me, but I catch her off guard, pressing my lips to hers.

She waits a second, questioning me, but finally sets the plates down and wraps her arms around my neck, pulling herself up to me. She starts tenderly, letting her tongue trace the inside of my mouth, but then she laces her fingers into my hair, forcing me into her, and I comply. I stand, her legs rest on my hips and I lean over the breakfast bar. She lies down pulling me on top of her. I take my hands from her hips and run them down her legs, feeling her smooth skin tighten over her tense muscles. I run my hand up, slowly, appreciating each and every curve of her skin, feeling scars and scrapes only a dauntless could have. My fingers brush against the lace hugging her, tracing the pattern, the trail my hand farther up, feeling the fabric of my T-shirt which had ridden up.

"Speaking of taking things off..." She slows, not quite freezing, but definitely winding down. Her hands untangle themselves from my hair, one finding mine that rests at the hem of her/me shirt.

"Actually" she murmurs against my mouth, "I've been thinking.. You know... Maybe, if you're ok with it, tonight could..."she turns her head, looking anywhere but me, and I see a reddish hue creep up into her already rosy cheeks. She inhales and exhales deeply, closes her eyes "I was thinking we could finally have sex tonight." She says hurriedly, the shaking in her voice hardly detectable, but I watch her lips, which give her away.

"Tris, we don't have to do this."I mumble, pulling her up so she sit on the counter, but when she opens her eyes, where I expect to see relief, her eyes look hurt. Her bottom lip quivers and her hand twitches in mine.

"Do you... Do you not want to with me?" She whispers, so quite it's barely audible.

What in the world has gotten into this girl?

"Tris, of course I do, I love you. But when someone becomes your sole purpose to get up in the morning," I cup her face in my hands and make her look at me, "you tend to put their needs before your desire." I finish, skimming my lips against hers. She sighs, looking me in the eyes.

"Then yes. We will. Tonight, I'm going to conquer my fear." She smiles, but I see by the way it curves it's slightly forced. She's still not telling me something.

Ready to change the subject, I pick her up and place he back down on her chair. She watches as I clear our plates, sipping at her coffee.

"Speaking of being bossy, what colour is your dress for tonight?" I ask. Tonight is the celebration of bravery, where all of dauntless gathers for a formal, just like the ones we read about in our faction history text books back in school, where the girls wear long dresses and bucketfuls of makeup, and guys stand uncomfortably int suits. The pit gets transformed into a giant ball room, and next years dauntless born initiates serve us for the evening. Tris slams her mug down on the counter, her face clouded with worry and fear.

"Oh shit. Aw crap. God Christina's going to kill me. I left my dress in the shop yesterday. I thought if I got it out of the way I could have today to relax, but now she's going to have an excuse to drag me out shopping." Tris slams her head against the counter repeatedly, and looks up, exasperated when I start to laugh. "You don't get it! When was the last time you had to stand in a dress with underwear hiked a mile up your ass?!"she says, raising her voice. When she returns to slamming her head against the counter I pull her up and sling her over my shoulder. She slumps, defeated. "I'm going to have to kill myself. It's the only logical solution" she moans into my back.

Tossing her off onto the bed where she lands gracefully, I roll my eyes. "Calm down, I'll call her and tell her you need to rest. She's scared of me. Anyways, I have to go train with the guys in about half an hour, she can just send it with Will and I'll bring it back." She looks gratefully up at me. And smiles.

"I love you" she says and then slumps down on the covers.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of rambling author's notes, I had an exam with a cadaver for the first time and was stressed as balls, but that's over and now I only have 2 finals left, one of which is a breeze. I finally updated my other story and that chapter is quite steamy so even if you don't know the Throne of Glass series, if you want a little bit of steam head over there and let me know what you think. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

* * *

"Ow! How the hell did you do that?!" Uriah pants. We hadn't even been fighting for a minute, but he already lay on the ground gasping under my foot. He reaches for my hand when I offer it to him, pulling him to his feet. We were in the Training Centre, along with lots of other dauntless members. The Centre was huge, about the size of a two football fields, and had a track that looped around it. It was divided into strength, weaponry, agility, combat and obstacle courses, each as important as the next.

"It's really quite extraordinary Four," Will grunts between push ups by our mat, "given the odds, one would think you should have gotten your ass kicked at least once."

Zeke walks over from his punching bag and yanks Will up by his shirt, "Well Will, one would be wrong." He says, mocking the slightly upturn at the end of the sentence as Erudite's speak. Zeke lets him go, all of us laughing.

"But we have more important matters to discuss young lads" he motions to Will and Uriah. Then, looking directly into my eyes, he crosses his arms over his puffed out chest.

"So Four." He says. I can tell he's not trying to interrogate me, scare me or talk down to me, but honest curiosity piques his voice. "You and Tris seriously haven't boned yet?" I expect the other two to laugh, but I'm met with silence. Shit. I shrug my shoulder and walk over to the weights, and starting my bicep curls. They follow me, but don't so much as glance at the weights. Instead, they stare, Zeke expectant, Will curious and Uriah pensive. They're not going to leave this alone.

"But... Four. You guys gotta be pretty serious to have dated while you were training her. One word of that to Eric and your balls would have been chopped." Uriah states, awe and protection creeping into his voice.

At the mention of Eric's name, I drop the weight, and it tumbles to the ground, narrowly missing my feet, but I don't bother to move. I can still see Tris, in my dream, her little body pressed into mine, pulsing me every time she was wracked with a sob. I could smell her sweet scent, light vanilla and lavender, tainted by blood and dirt. It's not safe. But what isn't safe?

"Dude... Is he right? Were you guys hooking up during initiation?" Zeke says, snapping me out of my daydream. I reach an hand over and rub my head, like I had to think about my answer.

"Well, yeah. I guess technically we were." I say, roaming my eyes over the room, avoiding looking at their faces and seeing their reactions.

"Man screw technically. Why the hell haven't you guys done it?" It was will who spoke, surprising us all, but I can tell their not going to drop this, they'll push me to tell them.

"Because she's scared. Alright? Intimacy was in her fear landscape, that was what all the observers were laughing at." I say it as quickly as I can, trying not to raise my voice, but feeling so tired of trying to hold back.

Silence. For a full minute not a sound emanates from any of their mouths. Then Zeke walks over, grabbing my shoulder and rustling it, I sign of comfort here.

"Dude... That blows." Uriah and Will nod their heads in agreement. I shrug, deciding that maybe talking to someone about it all could actually help.

"Well it's not only her. I mean I don't know hat to expect or do or.."I trail off when I realize each of their jaws are practically on the ground. Uriah strides forward, each step a little bouncier than it need be, a smug smile crossing his face.

"Hold on one freaking second. So you're telling me, that you, THE Four, the guy that could have any girl wrapped around him so tightly she bursts, is a virgin?!" He comes over and knocks me under the chin, hard enough for me to stagger back, but lightly enough that I feel no pain. I walk over and pick up the weights, stacking them back on their rack.

"Yeah, I guess" I say while I straighten up.

Someone jumps on me, piggy backing me while grinding their fist into my hair.

"Well there's our problem man! Now ride nobble steed, to the food hall" Zeke shouts from on my back, before I flip him move and he crashes to his back. "Or we can just walk" he groans.

.

.

.

"So have you and Christina don't it yet?" Uriah asks, jamming a burger into his mouth. The food hall buzzes with people talking excitedly, about tonight no doubt, but they all seem too focused on their own lives to eavesdrop on us.

Will grins, and nods his head, "ooh yeahhhh." He looks around to make sure no ones listening then leans in real close. "She's wild. Super kinky, like to be tied up and stuff, you know?" I roll my eyes.

"Oh yeah bro. Marlene does this thing where she-" he mumbles out with a mouthful of burger, but a fry hits him smack in between his eyes.

"Dude, I'm trying to eat here! I don't want to hear about my little brother boning some chick!" Zeke exclaims, making a grossed out face. Uriah just sticks his tongue out at Zeke, shaking his head so the water in his hair left from the post-training shower soaking us.

"There's a lot to hear big bro... A lot." This sort of conversation drags on, until finally, they let me go.

.

.

.

"Hey" I say as I shut my door behind me. She's still just in my T-shirt, sitting cross legged on the bed reading. She looks up from her book, her whole face glowing. She looks gorgeous, eyes crinkling at the corners when she laughs, but then as if a thought runs through her head, her smile becomes forced. I drop my backpack from the shoulder it was slung on and run over to her, jumping and landing right over her, taking all my weight on my arms on either side of her face, which she covers with her hands.

"Tobias!" She shrieks while she laughs as I pry her hands away. Her hands pull on the collar of my shirt, dragging me down on top of her. I breathe her in, basking in her presence and taking in every little bit of her. The way bits of her hair falls on her cheeks, too short to reach the knot on her head, but every single place those hairs touch is a master piece. I get lost in thought while I marvel at her, but she clears her throat, bringing me out of my haze.

"So Christina called. Looks like someone forgot?" She says, smiling up at me.

"Oops, guess I just got.. Preoccupied." I say while I kiss her neck, down he throat and rest my lips on each of her ravens.

"Tobias..." She begins to moan. "Tobias!" She smacks the back of my head playfully. "We need to focus. I told her I was still hungover and that she can go shop for me, which she actually seemed to really like the idea of. She going to be here soon, so naturally I'll hop in the shower and let you deal with her." She kisses me and rolls over, prancing over to the bathroom. She turn around and gives me a sexy stare, narrowing her eyes and licking her lips. "See ya soon, babe".

(Tris)

I wait for the water to warm, wrapped in a warm towel, I tap my foot against the cool stone floor, the sound echoing around me. I take my time once I get in, partly because I want to look good for Tobias tonight, but mostly so I can avoid Christina. I had been able to go get some supplies today in a store at the edge of the pit without running into Christina, who surely would have hauled me off into a shop with way too many frills that necessary, and not nearly enough black for dauntless. I wash my hair, shave, well... everywhere, and then scrub away with my regular soap. The water hits my back, each little droplet a shock to keep me going, and I watch it swirl down the drain. Waters lucky. I wish I could melt through that drain.

"Just take them!" I hear an annoyed Christina scream muffled by the bathroom door. I must have been in here along time if Christina already sounds ready to leave. Someone marches to the front door and slams it, but when I strain my ears, I hear Tobias exhale a huge sigh of relief. I place my palm on the control panel of glass and turn the shower off. Once I'm dry, I shrug on Tobias's T-shirt like it's a short dress, and some clean underwear I had brought over from the dormitories today.

As quietly as possible, I creak open the door and peak my head outside, making sure the coast is clear of Christina. The room is empty except for Tobias, who lies on the bed, face down, looking defeated. I seize the chance to sneak up on him, tip toeing across the room, and positioning myself, ready to pounce, at the edge of the bed. The second my feet lift off the ground though, he twists, his years of training catching me off guard.

Catching me by the waist, he turns around and let's me fall beside him, rolling on top of me the second I hit the bed. So it's a fight he wants. Well it shall be a fight he gets. He pins me, pressing his lips to mine. I'm still steaming hot from the shower, so his lips feel like ice, sending all the right kinds of chills down my spine. Before I can open up my mouth to his, I feel his lips twitch against mine, slowly arcing up into a great big grin. He lifts his face from mine, and I try to read his expression. His eyebrows are drawn together a little bit, but his smile is all joy. "What is it?" I mumble, worry creeping into my tone and grasping at my throat. He smiles even more, any look of guilt now replaced by amusement.

"You're going to kill her." He says, rolling off me and placing at least 7 different shopping bags on the bed. Christina's parents had figured out how to transfer money into her dauntless account, and seeing as they made more money than they knew what to do with, Christina always bought people presents. The one closest to me is stamped with the name of the dress shop we enter to, but I don't recognize any of the others. There's a pink one, three black ones, the red one from the dress shop, and one white one, each far too glossy and high end looking for anything I could possibly want. At the edge of the pink one, I see some lace sticking out of the bag. I clear my throat, and look over at him with mock causality.

"Tobias, mind telling me what the hell these all are?" I say, trying to sound nonchalant. He looks me dead in the eye biting his lip, trying to hold back a laugh.

"She dropped the bags off. All I know is that's all stuff for you to wear tonight." He says, holding up his hands in a fake surrender. "You're a filthy liar Tobias." I joke while sticking out my tongue at him. He laughs while I pull the bags towards me. Ok Tris, let's get this over with. I pull the smallest bag, one of the black ones, and dump the contents into my lap. Out comes little pots and tubes filled with an array of colourful goops and powders, followed by brushes and little tools that look like some sort of torture devices. I stare up at him, and can tell by his expression he is loving every minute of this.

"It was a buy one get one free sale, she had to give them to somebody, she couldn't just shove them into some corner. It would be a tragedy!" He recites what I'm sure is an exact quote, while crossing his hands behind his head to enjoy the show.

"I'll tell her where to shove them." I mumble while I reach for the next one. The bed shakes with Tobias's laughter, but when I shoot him the most angry look I can, he calms down.

"Sorry sorry. Back to the serious matter at hand, shopping." He says, sarcasm just oozing out of him. I whack him in the stomach, but I'm pretty sure my hand gets the worst of it. I swear, he's made out of steel or something.

Eventually, the bed is cluttered with tissue papers of all colours, and Tobias and I have laughed too much for what we're doing, each bag bringing more jokes and digs than the last. I've piled up what we've unboxed so far, the makeup from the first bag now buried under bottles of perfume, hair clips, combs and other things that will never touch my head, as well as 2 different pairs of shoes, both looking like they were designed for you to fall out of. Bottles of nail polish rest nuzzled in one of the many hand bags and clutches by the side. Two bags are left, the one from the dress shop, and the pink one. I take a deep breath, reaching for the dress bag, when I see a little note folded in the tissue of the pink bag. Tobias notices my hesitation, following my ling of sight, we both dive for it. His hand grab it before I've even come close, and while I make a grab for it he puts a hand on my stomach, keeping him and the note out of my reach.

"Tris," he reads "don't open this one without me, you're going to need some explanation. -C" he looks up once he finishes, a big fake pout on his face. "Oh no! And I was so excited" he says, placing it down next to the bed.

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying watching me be tortured." I say, finally reaching for the dress bag. I reach in and pause, looking up at him. "Are you allowed to see it? I mean that's not bad luck or something right?" He laughs at me then swings his legs over the bed, getting up and heading over to the kitchen.

"I like surprises" he says, shutting the door behind him.


	10. Chapter 10

(Tobias)

I grab some chips from the cupboard and hoist myself up onto the counter, but before I can even grab a handful out of the bag, I hear Tris shout "That... She... Gahhhh" the bed springs moan under her while she stands, and I hear a loud bang.

"Ow" Tris squeaks out, sounding annoyed, but loud enough for me to hear through the door. Just as I get to my feet to run out and make sure she's ok, the kitchen door slams open. A huffing red face Tris stomps in, turning to me, an expression of pure rage on her face.

"I'm going to KILLL HER!" she grumbles while storms towards me. I open my arms to hold her, but she reaches right past me and grab the chips.

"Hey!" I joke, reaching for the bag, but the sight of her stops me. Legs curled up into her chest, mouth stuffed with chips, and expression that reads I AM THINKING ABOUT MURDER RIGHT NOW. I double over with laughter, and she throws a handful of chips at my back.

"Es nah funeh!" She yells through a mouthful of chips. I stand and pull her into my arms, she remains curled into a ball so I turn her onto her back and hold her like an infant.

"Wanna try that one again?" I say as I press my lips to her forehead. She chews then swallows, looking up at me angry, but I can tell she's starting to calm down.

"She's insane! Completely insane! It takes her constant nagging, hair pulling and fighting me-" Tris says, but I cut her off "fighting you?" I ask.

"Shh. So yeah. Finally. FINALLY, she gets me into a dress, mind you it was the only one in that store that didn't either show my ass or my nipples, but still" she continues, rolling her eyes, straightening out her legs a bit more, so I can actually hold her properly.

"So I put the dress on, right? I sacrifice myself to her so she can have a night of fun playing dress up with me, the you know what she does?" She looks at me, as if she actually expects me to know.

"Do tell." I encourage her. "She puts a slit in the thing. As if I could walk in the thing without falling on my ass already. A slit. Now my legs are going to be out in the open. I may as well just go nude!" She exclaims, slumping into my chest as finality.

"Now THAT I wouldn't mind..." I murmur into the space right below her ear. She giggles.

"Stop it Tobias! That tickles!" She says smiling into my chest, and I feel her laugh vibrate through me. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Oh does it now?" I murmur suggestively. I support her in one of my arms and reach over to tickle her rib cage. She squeals, rolling out of my arms and landing in a crouch on the ground.

"You are so dead!" She says menacingly, but her tone is blanketed by laughter. I stay perfectly still.

"You gotta catch me to kill me." And at that I run, vaulting over the side table.

Fifteen minutes later, we lay sided by side clutching our sides, gasping for air.

"I'm glad you finally admit defeat, I was almost getting tired" I say. She rolls over and flicks my between my eyebrows.

"Oh please! 2 more minutes and I would have had you pinned, screaming for mercy." She says, while resting her head on my shoulder, staring straight at me. We stare at each other letting our breathing slow. Suddenly I remember something.

"Earlier, when you pulled out your dress, there was a loud bang and then you let out an "ow". I thought someone had barged in or something, what was that?" I ask. She smiles at the memory of her freak out.

"Oh yeah, I meant to tell you, but you were too busy trying to tickle me to death. You need softer walls." She states, keeping a completely straight face.

"What?" I ask, still confused. She rolls her eyes, as if it's obvious.

"Well, when I first saw that fucking slit..." She rambles off, her fists clenching by her sides. Snapping back to the conversation at hand, she shakes her head as if to clear it. "When I first saw it, I was about to run out and find her, just so I could yell at her. But I figured she would just tell me I'm being silly, and then I'd just get even more frustrated to I punched your wall instead." She finishes, looking around, locating the spot she punched I'm sure. I kiss the edge of her mouth where a smile tries to pull at. I pull her close to me and press my lips to hers.

"Insane. But I love you." I say. She pulls my head down to hers, kissing me deeply. I inhale deeply, just breathing every detail about her in. She's perfect.

"I love you too." She mumbles into my mouth. She grabs my shirt collar, pulling me up into a sitting position, and crawls into my lap, all while keeping our mouths intertwined.

"Tris." I say. She stops immediately. "What's up?" She asks, worried. She must have read my read my voice well enough to detect the anticipation and nervousness in it. I reach over to my bed side table opening the drawer. She freezes.

"Uh.. Tobias.. I um.. I thought we were going to wait until after the dance tonight... I'm not .. And anyways, we don't need one... There's been a shot developed by the erudite so we-" she rambles nervously, eyes staring down at her lap where her hands tangle and untangle themselves. What is she talking about? What did she say about after the- oh.

"Tris, it's not a condom. I have something for you." She breathes out a sigh of relief, laughing at herself.

She sits there in my lap facing me, still staring at her palms, now resting on her knees. I place the little velvet box in her hand, and pull her chin up so she looks me in the eye.

"Tris. I'm in love with you. You're the reason for me to breath. I wasn't actually alive until I met you. I love you." I let it all rush out. She smiles up at me, questioningly. "Tobias, what is it?" She asks. I motion for her to open the box. She lift it and delicately unclamps the lid, and gently pulls the lid open on its hinges. Her free hand rushes to her mouth and her breath hitches.

"Tobias, they're beautiful!" She whispers in awe as she pulls the pearl choker from its place nestled in the box.

"I want you to have it. It was my mom's, she could never wore it, you know how it is in abnegation, especially with Marcus and all..." I trail off, my throat tightening at the thought of him. "Anyways, it's been in my family forever, and only people I love have worn it." Her smile falters for a fraction of a second, worry clouding her gaze, but as fast as it appeared, it vanished. Maybe I'm just seeing things. "So umm, anyways. Yeah. You don't have to wear it tonight, I'm sure Christina would kill me if I messed with her little doll's outfit for the night." Tris whacks my in the stomach, but smiles.

"I love it. I love you. Can you out it on me?" Tris asks, her eyes a little glossier than usual.

She turns in my lap, and I brush the stray strands from her neck away, trailing kisses on her as I do. Once the clasp is done up, she turns back around, her face alight with joy.

"How does it look?" She asks. My Tris sits there, every single piece of her more beautiful than the next. The pearls hang closely to her throat, but are still dazing from the background of my dark shirt on her. My breath gets caught in my throat and when I move my mouth, but I can't find any words to force out. She's my whole life, my everything, just like the last woman to wear those pearls.

I know I need to tell Tris about my mom, but not tonight. Instead I just grab her and flip her onto her back, careful not to let her bare any of my weight. While I look up between kisses, I notice the clock reads 3:28. Fuck.

"Um Tris? Do you need to start getting ready for the celebration soon?" I ask, nervously, but she just laughs.

"Tobias, it doesn't start until 8!" And as if on cue, a loud knock on the door pulls me from her.

"Who the hell is bothering you in the middle of the day?" Tris questions, looking genuinely confused. Before I can open the door, it's slammed open to reveal Christina with her arms full of bags. I reach to grab some, but she shrugs me off.

"You, out, the boys are getting ready at Zeke's place, your suit is already over there." Christina orders.

I look over at Tris, comprehension dawning on her face.

"Oh you little shit..." She growls at me, standing up. I turn and dart for the door.

"Don't let her near any walls Christina, she'll just punch them." I slam the door behind me, laughing. The last thing I hear while I walk down the hall is Tris's muffled voice.

"FOUR, YOU BETTER RUN!"


	11. Chapter 11

Christina is gracious enough to let me moan into the sheets while she gets the place ready, pulling a million things out from her bags and setting them down in thought out placement, pulling stools from the kitchen and mirrors from the closet door.

"Can I please wear pants?" I mumble into the pillow, knowing its useless. She laughs half heartedly.

"Suit up Tris, you're going to enjoy this, you're going to look HOT. Whether you like it or not. Now come sit here."

I raise my head up from my pillow, and take in the room. She's set up a work station, with the mirror, stool and coffee table becoming some sort of giant vanity. Every single thing I could ever fathom being used beauty wise is on the table, as well as a million other bits that look menacing. I slither off the bed, and slump onto the stool.

"If you come anywhere near my face with any of this, I will bite you." I say, but I can tell she's having fun, so I let her do it. She holds up a big container with what looks like blueish-grey mud.

"It's just a face mask. I'm going to put this on your face and then I work on some other bits of you while we wait 30 minutes, then wash it off." She says in a hushed slow tone, as if she were trying to coax an angry wild animal.

Once my face is covered with it and my body is covered in some sort of moisturizing creme, she let's me sit in bed, waiting for it to sink in. She applies her mask and creme within seconds, then flops down on the bed next to me.

"So are you going to tell me what the hell is going on? Or am I going to have to shove my hand into your little head and pull whatever is bothering you out?" I turn my head in her direction, and she just stares expectantly.

"I don't know what-" she cuts me off.

"Cut the crap Tris. I just spent 10 minutes rubbing your face and everywhere else for that matter while I talked about SHOES, and you nodded along like it was the most interesting conversation you've ever had. What's up?"

I stare down at my finger resting on my thighs, just where Tobias's Tshirt stops. The fabric that was moments ago now feels like led on my skin. I watch as the fabric billows with my chest falling and rising so fast.

"Um.. Well I kinda decided tonight was going to be... The night" I murmur, my chin resting against my chest.

"I know! Look at you, of course tonight's going to be a special night!" She exclaims, making me snap my head up and stare, jaw dropping to the floor. But when I see her expression, I realize she thinks I'm just talking about having a great night.

"Umm no. Like, sex wise." I say, breaking eye contact even before I start. Her mouth glides farther open than humanly possible, into a huge smile that should crack her face. She squeals loudly, nearly shattering my ear drum, grabbing my arms so tight I'm can feel the finger nail marks appearing.

"Oh my god! This is so exciting! Do you have the shot? How do you-" I cut her off by smacking her in the stomach.

"Christina, it's not a big deal." I say, looking around the room trying to think of how to change the subject. My eyes spot the pink bag still unopened.

"What's in the bag?" I ask, pointing to where it sits beside the dresser. As if a switch were flipped in her head, her eyes squint, and her mouth curves into a mischievous smile.

"Ok. So let me explain. Obviously the whole point of being a girl is to look hot right?" She rambles off, but before I can disagree, she continues. "But clearly in Dauntless, you kinda need to be able to carry weapons with you. So when a chick's wearing a dress that hardly has enough room for her to fit into it, she doesn't have room to stash a knife without a huge bulge. So these were invented."

She hops off the bed and grabs the bag, tossing it onto the bed, and motioning for me to open it. I rummage through the tissue paper, when finally my hand meets what I had been dreading. Slowly, as if I was a grenade, I pull out a pair of underwear, if you can call them that. It's more like a triangle of black lace attached to a thin ribbon of lace.

"Those are just normal underwear, nothing special about them, I got you a few pairs of those. Anyways, there's more!"

Like a kid on Christmas Day, she yanks the bag from my hands and pulls out what looks to be like a thin lace belt that matches the underwear, but dangling from it are pieces of black fabric with little hooks on the end.

"Ok, you're going to love this. It's designed for when you want to wear a really short dress, but rock those knee high boots. You just attach your knife to the end of the little garter, and when you want it, all you have to do is pull! Adorable right?!" She coos, gleaming at her purchase. Adorable isn't the word I would use, maybe something more along the lines of disturbing. Before I can process the million questions developing in my head, she pulls out what I was dreading most.

"No. Nuh uh. I am NOT wearing a push up bra. Sorry, nope, not doing it." I state, as I try to get up, but she drags me down and pins me under her. She looks hilarious, face covered in bluish grey goop, like some sort of Martian. I giggle at the sight of her, but unfortunately she takes that as a good sign.

"That's the spirit. The point isn't the fact that it's an asset enhancement support system, but what it can hold." She waves the black lace in front of my face, but then pulls at the band of the bra. Out comes a knife way to big to be able to fit in that tiny thing. "Amazing isn't it? The metal becomes playable when it contacts the special material of the bra, so it can curl up and fit in the empty space below your boobs." She says in a dreamy haze. She snaps out of it, going slightly red from what skin I can see just below her mask.

"Um, sorry. Will really like this brand of lingerie." She giggles. "Now get up off your butt and go put these on! We only have a little while till we need to leave!" She exclaims, pushing me off the bed with the bag in my hand.

After what feels like hours of sitting in the stool in nothing but my new underwear and bra (she was nice enough to let me get away without the garter belt seeing as boots "would just tragically ruin my outfit"), draped in towel, facing the bed and being plucked, tweezed, pinched and painted, Christina's finally let's me turn around and look in the mirror.

"Ok ready? Three, two one!" She pulls her hands away from my eyes and my jaw drops.

"How did... What happened to.. Oh my god. Christina, you're amazing!" In the mirror I can see her clasp her hands in delight, tears springing to her eyes. I go back to studying my face. I still look like myself, no drastic colours anywhere on my face, but every subtle quality brought to the surface. The face that stares back at me has sharper eyes, higher cheeks bones, and glossier lips, but she's still me. She just also happens to be Dauntless.

Christina wipes away the lone tear that had fallen, and hugs me, too tight for me to breath. She holds me at arms length, examining me like a proud mother.

"Go put your dress on, I'll do myself while you do."

I step into the bathroom, and take my dress from where it hangs in a garment bag on the door. It slides on perfectly, and as the zipper closes, for the first time ever, I feel beautiful. I step out, and Christina is already dressed and in full makeup.

"We look hot. Admit it." She demands, cocking her hip to the side in classic Christina fashion. I shrug

"What can I say. You're a crazy, scary and talented person." She smiles, taking the compliment, and points over to the bed.

"Ok, so I laid out your accessories, I hope they're ok." On the sheets sits a little crimson purse not big enough to carry anything practical around, but still very pretty. Beside it lies Tobias's mom's pearl necklace, and a gold cuff-like bracelet, and finally, the scariest part, a pair of insanely high black heels, the actual heel part speckled with little gold pieces that I could see being extremely useful in a fight.

"I don't think I can walk in those" I worry aloud as I put on the necklace and the bracelet.

"Sure you can, Jesus Tris you can jump off a building, you're dauntless for Christ's sake!" She exclaims. But I'm not.


	12. Chapter 12

(Tobias)

Water's deceiving. In the perfect lighting, and nothing to upset the resting of it, you can see your reflexion, as if it were a mirror. But when the sun starts to rise, a wave crashes, or you splash your foot in it, it suddenly switches from something that let's you see only yourself, to this force, so visible yet too translucent to define its edge. It morphs from a surface, delicate like glass and cool to the touch, but seemingly solid, where you can and can't feel it set into a barrier-like line to this indistinguishable hectic storm, where the force of it all seems so tangible, but when caught in your fingers, it seeps through them, gone within seconds.

A crash of water rebounding off a rock in the chasm flies up, a droplet landing on my hand, pulling me out go my thoughts. Was I always gripping the railing this tightly? My knuckles are white, and the railing feels like ice against my palm. Whether it's because of the chill from the wind in the chasm, or the fact that I'm so nervous i feel like I'm in a sauna right now, I don't know. Another spout goes crashing down, shattering into a million pieces against the jagged rocks. I like this spot, it's easy to see the chasm, but it's still not part of the pit. I strain my eyes and see the only dry spot, the spot where Tris and I first kissed.

"Hey you! Move you're in my way!" Someone shouts at me. I turn around, to tell whoever just shouted to get lost, but freeze, grabbing the railing for support. There, no more than 10 feet from me is Tris. Her face is glowing, and her cheeks are just slightly flushed, but her smile shines against her little lips, warming me like sun beams from a summer's day. Her hair is twisted up into some beautiful knot, like a fancier version than back home in abnegation, a few pieces hanging loose down around her face, framing the most beautiful work of art in existence. My mom's pearls sit just above her collar bones, where her ravens seem to be flying away from the black fabric on her chest. I keep moving my gaze down, her long black dress emphasizing every curve on her body, clinging in to all the right places, but still keeping a modest flow. Are those spikes I see at the bottom of her dress? No, it couldn't be.

She stands practically a foot taller than usual, but that isn't what stops me, nor is it her hair or her dress. It's the fact that in all this...this... this glamour, she still looks like my Tris. She's simply glowing, not able to relax her cheeks and hide her grin, still wearing my mothers string of pearls. Her eyes sparkle so bright, like the first night I kissed her, and the first time I told her I loved her, that I can see the chasm reflected in them. The railing let's out a little groan under my weight, and I realize I'm hardly standing anymore. I can't breath or think or speak, all I can do is stare at her, my Tris.

"So, what do we think?" she twirls with elegant sarcasm, the edges of her dress catching in the wind, her legs look so damn sexy from what I catch a glimpse of.

"Tris.. Wa? And the... You..." I stammer, trying to force words to come. She smiles even brighter, all traces of sarcasm gone, and she closes the space between us, wrapping he arms around my neck.

"That's kinda what I was going for." She brushes her lips against mine, barely letting me feel her face's warmth, but that spark of her lips is like a shock of an electrical current, the point of contact buzzing.

(Tris)

I laugh and look down at our feet. "Hey." I say, trying to hide the bashful look from veiling my natural smile.

"Hi." Tobias says, offering me his arm, a look of amazement and awe still clear on his face. We walk for a few minutes in silence, and I twitch nervously. Too nervously for him not to notice .

"Tris?" He says, sounding worries. His free hand guides me to twist around and face him, but I just looks back down, mindlessly fiddling with the clasp on my clutch. Distracting myself from the matter at hand.

"Say it." He states. It's not an order or a question, because we both know exactly what he's referring to, the silence, the nervousness that I've been trying too hard to hide. I can't hide from him. I slowly drag my gaze up, finally locking eyes with him, up knowing it's no use to play dumb.

"Tobias if there were someone, someone you had once cared about," I pause, bringing my fingers to gently rest on the pearls around me neck. "Someone who was still around, would you tell me? Even if it didn't seem to affect us in any what way?" I ramble on, not giving him a chance to speak. "Even if you don't care for them anymore." The pearls are cold against my skim, and he stare at them and stiffens. I see his eyes waver for a moment, the look of uncertainty leaves before I can even be sure it came.

"There is someone, and they do affect how our lives are going to go on." Tobias says, his voice strained, and his eyes averting mine. "But I promise you I will never let her come between us. I love you Tris." He finishes, gaging my reaction and finally looking me in the eyes. I stare, for a few seconds, drowning in the deep dark sea of his eyes, but finally surface from the choppy water.

"Thank you. I needed to know."I say, hugging him into me. But that hand that rested on the pearls is wrenched away as if by some invisible force. So it's true, there have been other girls. In the two short years he's been Dauntless, he's been in love, been in lust, been with at least one other girl, snd maybe… Maybe I'll just be another girl.

Once we get in the pit, our thoughts are left behind us. It's truly breath taking, all the walls covered in close knit nets of fairy lights, everywhere you looking makes you feel like you're looking in the night sky. Hidden stereos play a song I don't recognize by All Time Low, but I can tell it's them from the constant playing of their music at any event. Tobias grabs my waist and I stop.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask, terrified of his answer. He pulls me into the crowd, twirling me here and there as we go.

"Well Tris. I've decided to torture you one last time tonight." He says, finally stopping and pulling me into him. All around us couples brace each other, singles look for each other and Dauntless is just one big mess of superficial love problems. For now.

For what felt like hours, Tobias and I swayed back and forth, twisting turning and making sure to get near the food tables at least every half hour. Christina had found us by nine, tears in her eyes, and dragged us off to go get pictures taken and meet people. We had grab a cupcake each, and as we walked back to our little hallway that we walked through to get here, Tobias mutters in my ear, in such a low tone I can barely hear him.

"We're being followed." Without moving my head, I scan the surrounding area. We come to a halt when a man covered in tattoos and piercings blocks our way out to the railing looking over the chasm.

"Max. What's going on?" Tobias asks, no panic or fear in his voice, but anger. He must know the man, Max, from work or the training room, but I can tell Max is just another Dauntless, ready to accept whatever danger he can.

"Sorry Four, but it's an order." Max says, no remorse in his tone. Five more men appear of nowhere, Max and three others going after Tobias, and two of the smaller ones grabbing me. Before my attackers can get a tight grip on me, I step back. It's like I'm in initiation all over again, I have to weigh my weaknesses against their strengths. They're much bigger than me, easily twice my size each, but their steps are heavy and undecided. I can feel the ghost of Tobias's hand on my abdomen, his voice in my ear

"You're quick, and if you can get a good punch in first, you can win." I aim at the smaller of the two first, who had gotten the closest to me and I could now feel his warm breath wash over me, sickeningly sweet like cough syrup. He can't dodge my punch in time, so when I make contact with his throat he doubles over. I kick him in the back of his shaved head while I have that vulnerability, the spikes on my heels leaving red marks of blood. So maybe Christina is kinda smart.

I hear grunts of pain from across the hall, non of them being Tobias's.

"You ok?"he shouts, out of my view.

"Peachy!" I yell, just as my next attacker charges me. I try to move to the side, but I step on the edge of my dress, tripping and tearing the slit even higher, and landing on my stomach. I roll, narrowly missing his boot coming flying right for my stomach, but I'm not fast enough to dodge his hand grabbing me by the neck. He slams my into the wall face first, and I feel a cut appear on my lower lip, the warm metallic taste of blood feathers my tongue. I wipe at my mouth, as he holds me against the wall, feeling me down for weapons.

"What's the matter little girl? Forgot you can't fight back? Too small aren't we."

"That was a bad move man" I hear Tobias say behind me as he wrenches the man off of me, taking us both by surprise. I stumble, but quickly regain my balance, my attacker not so lucky. He sits in on the ground, dazed looking, blood running from the side of his bruised face. In true dauntless fashion, he mumbles

"Oh yeah Four? Why would that be?". Before Tobias can say anything, I step towards them.

"Because you smudged this damn makeup" I say, slamming my fist into the side of his head. He crumples to the ground.

We walk hand in hand to the chasm tossing subtle glances over our shoulders, neither of us able to form sentences. If it weren't for Tobias standing right next to me pulling me along I think I would collapse. Finally, we reach the railing and Tobias pulls me into him, locking me into the cage of his arms.

"Are you ok?" He questions, murmuring it into the top of my hair. Grabbing my arms he holds me at arms length and starts prodding at my lip. His eyes narrow and his lips purse as the do when he worries. I slap his hand away.

"Stop it, I'm fine." I reassure him, grabbing his hand and giving it a tight squeeze. "What was that about?" I ask. Remembering the look on Max's face sends chills down my spine, Tobias must have noticed because he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over my shoulders.

"I don't know. The third guy I had, begged for mercy, saying they were there to issue a warning to us, but I saw you get slammed against the wall so I just knocked him out and went to you." Tobias says, looking over at the rocks below us. His chest rises and falls once, then he looks down at our feet. "He said we have to make our selves believe we aren't what we are. Or else." He looks up, ready to study my reaction. I purse my lips and stare off into the distance. Or else. I don't think I can afford an "or else" right now.

I can't handle this right now. So I take a huge breath in and shake my head, as if I could rid myself of the memory.

"We're not going to deal with this right now. We have all day tomorrow, we can talk about it then. But for now, we're both rushed up on adrenaline from some random fight, and I can think of something that might help us... Use up all that energy." I whisper the last part, leaning in and playing with his shirt collar, attempting my best to pear up from under my eyelashes and look sultry. He stiffens, but I ignore it, and hand him back his jacket. His hand in mine, I start our way back to his place.


	13. Chapter 13

Hey! So I realized that at the end of the last chapter I asked you guys which type of ~romance~ you prefer (seeing as I wrote this story almost 2 years ago my writing style has changed and -hopefully- improved a bit) and if you guys want me to rewrite/update some of the sexy scenes in this story but being the idiot I am it was the wrong chapter, and that last A/N was meant for this chapter. So yeah, basically let me know if you like this scene more than my ch 6 of my other story as I personally think the writing on the other story is better but I dont know what you guys want. Let me know! Otherwise, enjoy :)

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They say that it's always darkest before dawn, but did they ever stop to think that may just be in comparison? Every time something hurts in life, where we feel any pain, be it physical or emotional, we seem to find a way to make up for it with joy, or comfort. But even if that effort we put it doesn't match that of the pain, it feels far more real and present because of the jump in your mind's spectrum.

Tobias's hand hold mine as we walk through the corridors, the cold stone they're carved out of seem to glow of tonight's magical feel, each new path looking more inviting than the next. Somehow we had been able to forget the fear of tonight's attack, both of us obviously consumed in speeding trains of thought.

"Tris?" He says, breaking the pensive silence. He sounds nervous, but still we walk on, through the twists and turns only a dauntless could navigate their way through back to their home.

"Yeah?" Is all I can seem to think of, but it's sounds rings silent compared to each click of my heels against the stone.

"Do you mind if we talk?" He says as he turns us towards one one of the many natural little alcoves that appear randomly in the corridors, this one just big enough for the two of us. In the faint shadows cast by the little light above us, he looks as worried as he sounds, his crimson tie the only colour on him other than his deep blue velvet eyes. I scooch up on the little ledge in here so I can be at his eye level, then rest my elbows on his shoulders, letting my arms hold his neck. My arms so close to his right before my eyes show such a huge contrast in size. We're so close but there is still enough room for him to speak. I look at him expectantly and he swallows, his adams apple bobbing.

"Alright.. I love you. More than anything. You're the only reason I have to get up in the morning, the only thing keeping me sane. Tris I love you more than you will ever know." He pauses and I lean in and kiss him, but to my surprise he rests his hands on my shoulders and gently pushes me back. I sit on the ledge confused, but still silent.

"I love you" he looks me deep in the eyes "but we're not going to have sex tonight." He sighs.

"Tobias what the hell?" He clamps a hand over my mouth

"Hey, quiet, I'm not done" I roll my eyes in response. He takes his hand from my mouth and holds my hands in his. "I know we would doing it for the right reasons,we love each other and are ready. But a lot happened tonight, and we have some things to think about. We both don't have a clue what to expect and I use don't want to burden you with this, before you're more comfortable, even can wait as long as we want."

With that he drops my hands placing them on my hips and kisses me, his mouth hot on mine. This time it's me to push him away and surprise him.

"Tobias, you think just because I'm me it's going to suck? No clue what to expect? I'm sorry I'm not exactly like other girls here. It's not my fault I'm not pretty, or experienced or graceful but you choose now to bring it up? What the fuck?" I manage to get this all out before the first tear rolls down my cheek. I turn away before he can see it and hop of the ledge. He reaches for me but I run before he can grab me. I have a few seconds to run before he catches up on me. Even out of these heels I wouldn't be able to outrun him. Those few seconds are enough for me to let the tears flow frealy though, and when he reaches me, he looks more confused than I've ever seen him before.

"Tris stop.. Stop" he's holding me by the arms, as silent sobs shake my whole body. I look up at him and try to muster the most annoyed face I can right now.

"The way some of these girls look at yo the way they talk to you, I can tell there's some,… History" I say, trying to look him in the eyes,but giving up and staring at his feet. He drops my arms and his hang limp by his sides.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I look up at him, and he truly looks confused.

"I just look at them and I know. I know I'm not as brave or have boobs or be good at wearing a dress. I saw the way Lauren stared at you during initiation, the way you guys would go off and talk and how she would take any chance she could to touch you… I'm sorry, I wish I could be more like them, like her, but I can't" I finish, my voice hardly a whisper. He looks repulsed then even more dumbfounded than before.

"Lauren.. Lauren? Lauren and I got drunk at our first dauntless party and she tried to make out with me, so I politely refused and suggested she go after Eric. We haven't had a friendly conversation since but she would probably hump anything that moves. And yeah, we would go off and talk about stuff during initiation but it would normally just be her rambling about stupid shit and me doing the obligatory discussions about new recruits." He says shaking his head.

I stare at him, and with one look I can tell he's telling the truth. They didn't sleep together. Tobias did not have sex with Lauren. Of all things that could have made the situation worse, I brake into a psycho laugh.

"This whole night all I could think of was how I'm not even going to compare to any of the girls you've been with, ESPECIALLY not Lauren! That's the whole reason I was acting so weird tonight! I was totally ready and then... Christina telling me about all these positions and then me thinking you guys did..." I drift off once I realize what I'm saying and turn as red as my clutch. Tobias just starts laughing and kisses me. Not hungry like earlier night, but just happy and warm. He pulls free, gasping for air and we walk back to his place, talking about stupid things, like how hard heels are to walk in and the concept of fear.

"Something stuck in my mind from your little Lauren rant back there... You said something about all the girls I've been with..." I look up awkwardly shaking my head.

"Tobias, I didn't mean to call you some sort of man whore or something, you know I don't think that. But look at you. I'm making omelettes for breakfast tomorrow and I will be grating the cheese on your abs." He chuckles, but I can tell he's keeping something back.

"No, tris, it's not that. I've never... No... Done..." He stops and rubs the back of his head, looking down at his feet, which he twitches around nervously. "Tris I'm a virgin" it takes me a second to process this. Oh.

I look up at him and being the genius I am, blurt out "Are you sure?" He starts laughing at me which I join in with. "Ohhhh. So is that what you meant when.. Ohhhhh" he rolls his eyes.

"Yeah"

We laugh for a little while longer as we walk and then we finally get to his door. He looks away for a second and reaches for his keys. But before he can slide it into the lock I grab them and run, giggling. When was the last time we had a good game of chase?

"Tris!" He yells as he jogs behind me I run and run as the corridors twist this way and that. Finally ducking into an alcove, I see him jog past, a huge grin plastered on his face. I tip toe back towards his place but accidentally step too loudly and the loud "clack" of my heel against the stone gives me away. I see him come around the corner and I turn to run. I take a step but unfortunately the mixture of heels and dress do not comply, and I'm sent crashing forwards. I laugh and cry out ready to brace myself, but before the familiar thud of my body hitting ground can happen, I feel his hands wrap around my waist, pulling me into him. Somehow he turned my fall into what looked like a graceful dance dip and turn. My head against his chest I breath hard. Lips kiss the top of my head and when I look up I see him smiling down at me

"You caught me" I breath as I continue to catch my breath

"Always" he mumbles before swiping the keys out of my hand and in one swift movement shoving them in his pocket and lifting me up so our lips press together.

The joy from our little game still there as we laugh and kiss at the same time. He has his hands on my hips and my arms take most of my weight on his shoulder keeping me off the ground. Little pecks continue but I want more. I loop my legs around his hips, rendered easy by the new deep slit in the side. He's tentative at first but when I lace my fingers into his hair and pull him so close to me that he has no room to move out for little pecs, he seems to get the idea. He loops one of his arms under me to kind of sit on, the other pressing me into him and supporting my back. His tongue is hot in my mouth, tracing one cheek and then the other all while running his hand along my back and moaning my name. I give him a bit of breathing room but twist my legs to steer him. Our mouths still pressed together, he gets the message and pushes me up against the wall, giving his hand which supported my back license to roam my legs freely. As any guy would, he chose the leg left exposed by the slit.

He starts below my knee slowly rubbing higher and higher until I grab his hand and put it on my ass. He seemed kind of surprised but in no way objected, gently rubbing and exploring the new territory. My hands move and hold his chin in, I can feel his stubble appearing now that it's late. My mouth travel from his mouth and kisses it's way down to right under his jaw

"Hey tobias?" *kiss*

"Yeah Tris?" he breathes out as I pull his head back for access to more of his skin.

"You wanna " *kiss* "know" *kiss* " something?" He exhales his warm breathe going down my neck, sending chills up my spine, and to other places chill had never touched before.

"Sure Love. Tell me something" I put one hand behind me pushing off the wall to turn him around. He turns and I let go, landing perfectly on my feet, the dauntless way. I study him as he catches his breath.

He looks happy, but he definitely knows that the evenings events have been enough for me. He thinks I'm leading him into his apartment so we can change facing away from each other, so I can cuddle up to him once I know he is close to asleep. His eyes slowly look me up and down, his mouth curling into a smile when he looks at my chest. Boys. But when I grab both his hands and walk backwards leading us toward his place, he seems confused. Normally, when make out sessions get too much for me, I stop all contact for at least an half an hour. So when I keep pulling him when I'm against his door he goes from confused to dumbfounded.

"Well Love. A lot has changed recently. Wouldn't you agree?" I say, trying to be as nonchalant as I can, peering up through my eyelashes. He raises an eyebrow but when I don't go on but keep on slowly pulling him towards me he replies

"I guess you could say that" he says with a questioning tone. I take a deep breath, trying to be as sexy as I can

"Well it just came to my attention that nothing, Not one itsy bitsy thing has changed today. And for people so unstable and different as us, I think consistency is verrrry important." I've pulled him so he stands just a few inches from me, but drop his hands.

Placing one finger at the base of his neck, I start to drag it downward as I speak. "Well, I had an idea for something to change. Actually two things." I'm past his pecs now, slowly trailing down.

"And what would those be Tris?" He seems intrigued.

"Well. I'm a virgin. And your a virgin. And I think if we put our head together, and the rest of us for that matter, we might just be able to kill two birds with one stone" I feel his strong stomach as I pass it and reach into his pocket. Careful to linger in there and do a little bit more "searching" than necessary, I finally pluck the keys out and turn around, unlocking the door and walking through. He looks up, his face changing from restraint to lust and back again.

"Tris, just because you're dauntless doesn't mean it's easy to face your fears. We don't need to do this now" he slowly walks into the room, closing the door behind him, flicking on lights as he goes. I walk backwards facing him, matching his pace. He takes a step forwards, I take one back. I'm carful to slow them so he's a mere few feet from my when the back of my legs hit the bed and I sit, crossing my legs to make sure I optimize the slit in this dress. Reaching for his tie , I play with it for a minute, contemplating.

Finally I speak, "Well then. It's a good thing I'm not dauntless."

He cocks his head to one side for a moment and I pull him into me, slamming us both onto the bed. He lies on top of me hovering, taking all his own weight on his arms, which cradle my face. I pec him on the lips before smiling

"I'm divergent"

My mouth is hot on his, pulling him in and cupping his face with my hands. God I love this man. And the most amazing part of this all... He loves me. I smile to myself and he stirs from me for a moment.

"Tris if you're not ready or want to stop you promise to say something and we can stop and just go for a run or something?" I laugh into his mouth. But he waits so I nod and keep going. He relaxes and runs a hand down the side of my body, cupping my ass and pressing me into him. I arch my back from the pressure of his hand at the base of my spine, closing what little space between us we had. He traces my body, the warm, smooth and steady pressure making me flush, so when he pulls my head back ever so slightly, trailing kisses down my neck, I writhe with lust.

His tracing continues, starting at my lips, followed by my neck. His mouth is back on mine, easing it open and tracing the inside of my mouth with his tongue, while his fingers outline each of my ravens. His hand continues down, slowly and cautiously, but my heart still drums far too fast when his hand grazes over my breast.

"Tris are you ok?" He asks sitting up. "Let's stop, we can go back to the ball or grab a bite or-" but I don't let him finish. I pull him back down and kiss him more passionately than ever before.

"Shut up and take your clothes off." I whisper into his mouth, causing him to rock the bed with laughter. I pull on his jacket until he shrugs out of it.

With every moment ticking by, I feel the omnipresent pressure of what I'm doing. Every new millimetre of skin explored, I feel as if liquid nitrogen has been poured into my veins. But there's also a fight. A battle I never knew I could stand a chance against, but with Tobias, the icy spindles formed slowly melt away, a gentle flame building up and coursing through me. Waves of ice start to drown me, but I'm pulled out of my fear by the steady need I feel.

"Tobias," I whisper into his lips. "I'm ready." He looks up and meets my eyes, his gaze clouded by hot and heavy lust, but he studies me, watching for any sign of fear.

"We really don't have to, you know that right?" He asks, completely serious.

"I know. But I want to."

He smiles, then brings his mouth back to mine. A shock of ice travels through my veins from the sudden contact, so I decide to do something less consuming, and just wait for the fire to melt it away. I decide I would work on his tie because I have no idea how to undo it. My fingers fiddle with the knot, his lacing into my hair. By the time I've figured it out, my fear has melted away, and I'm filled with want. I wrap my arms around his neck, but he freezes.

"Shit! I don't have condoms." He sighs into my mouth, raising himself up and off of me.

"Oh god, that reminds me..." I say, reaching into the top of my dress. "

No Tris, keep your clothes on." He warns me. I ignore him and pull out the knife that's in my bra, he stares, confused and mouth hanging open slightly.

"Wouldn't want this bad boy accidentally killing one of us now would we?" I laugh, dropping it onto the ground and pulling out the other. His eyebrows furrow, his mouth is parted, and he's slumped against the bed.

"I'll explain later. And don't worry about protection, Christina gave me this injection that takes care of everything." He still looks a bit confused, but I can see that excitement is creeping its way into his mind. I kick off my shoes and pull the pin that holds my hair in its place, letting the strand float down around me. Finally, he pulls me on top of him, and I lean my face over his, my hair curtaining us off from the rest of the world.

"I love you Tobias Eaton." I murmur while I trace his lips with my finger.

"I love you Beatrice Prior." He says, pulling me into him. The moment the word left his lips, a new feeling rushed through me. It wasn't the heat and fire of lust, but an indescribable warmness. It spread first through my toes and tips of my fingers, then worked its way up into my core. I knew that the icy fear would never be back.

Tobias seems to feel the change in me, letting my straddle him and press my lips to his more furiously, desire my only thought. I trace my fingers down from his face, and start undoing the buttons on his shirt. He shrugs it off when I'm done, and I marvel at him. He's slightly tanned, not a hair in sight, and each and every muscle is perfectly well defined. I sigh, and he pulls me back down.

"What?" He laughs, kissing my neck. "Its just not fair. You look like you're photoshopped for Christ's sake." He laughs, tickling me, but sending warm air down my neck.

I lead his hands up to the zipper at the side of my dress, while our lips dance together, perfectly choreographed. He slides the zipper down, slowly, and I feel the cool air on my newly exposed skin. He take his time sliding the fabric off of me, carefully watching any sort of reaction from me. Finally, when the dress lies pooled on the ground, he hold my waist gently, pushing me up so he can stare at me. I flush, all over, which happens to be exposed now. I look down, letting my fingers tie themselves into knots, hoping he wont be too disappointed with what he sees.

"Tris... You're..." his train of thought derails as he gazes around my body. I'm only wearing the black bra and underwear Christina had given me.

"Don't say it. I already know." I whisper into my chest. " his finger lightly brush under my chin, and slowly pulls my eyes to his.

"Tris. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on. You're absolutely perfect." He says, tracing the little curves I do have with his other hand. I exhale, a giant weight wrenched out from within me. I smile, and let my self breath him in, lying back down on him. We kiss, letting our tongues intertwine and explore the new territory on each other. I undo his belt and slide off his pants.

He wears tight grey boxer , and I can see his erection pushing against the fabric. I let him undo the clasp on my bra, and he brings his hands up and touches my breasts. His hands slowly circle my nipples, then he slowly rolls them between his fingers. I let out a shaky moan into his mouth, feeling my lower abs clench in a most delicious way. I delicately remove the string of pearls around my neck, breaking the kiss for a moment to place them on the bedside table. I don't think he even noticed.

Suddenly, he flips me over, so he's on top of me. I start to pull on his boxers and slides off my last bit of fabric between us. Finally I find the waist band and pull, his erection springing free. Oh my god it's huge. There's no way in hell that I could fit that all inside me, but driven with need, I kiss him tighter.

"Are you ready?" He pants, worry in his voice. I nod, scared, but not fearful. Anticipating. He positions himself without taking his lips off mine, and finally, he slowly trusts in.

There's a pinching sensation, like when you stretch too hard, and I grit my teeth and clench my fingers into his biceps.

"Are you ok? We can stop. Let's stop, we can-"

"Can you stop worrying? Just for like 5 minutes?" I say my body starting to grow used to the new sensation, "Ok, keep going. Slow, please." I say, reaching up and pulling his face down to mine, our mouths meeting in the moment of stillness.

Inch by inch he slides inside of me, every inch or so stopping to give me time to adjust. Filling me. Stretching me. Making me feel like there's been a hollow I've just never known I had. I moan into his mouth, fingers tangled in his hair.

"Tris" he moans. I take every single inch of him, my legs spread wider than I thought possible for me, toes curling into the sheets. The feeling of complete fullness is new to me, but it sets the fire off again, filling me with passion. He gives me a moment to get comfortable, kissing me and breathing heavily. As slow as he can, he starts to pull out, almost completely empty again, I crave him, and pull him into me. He starts to thrust, meeting my hips with his, and my hips grind to the same rhythm, all on their own accord.

Each thrust fills me up, as out bodies glide against one another. He kisses every bit of skin he can. My muscles start to strain, and my breath comes in quick little bursts.

"Tobiassss" I moan into his neck, inhaling his scent. My toes curl and I wrap my legs around him. I can tell he's close, but holding back for me. All of a sudden, I cry out, flooded with my senses. It's like every single nerve ending on me is being pricked with the edge of a pin. Tobias thrust one last time into me, letting go, and as if it were possible, I feel even fuller. He collapses on top of me, barely taking any of his own weight, we just lie there, staring into each other's eyes, foreheads pressed together.

Our breathing begins to slow, and Tobias rolls over onto his back to lie beside me, and we both just stare up at the ceiling.

"That was..." He starts but seems at a loss for words. I nod my head, completely agreeing.

"Yeah" I mutter, being the genius I am. Finally able to breath normally, I stand, wobbly on my legs like a new born fawn. I grab a T-shirt from his dresser, shrugging it on. I toss a pair of sweat pants over to him, and then go sit down next to him. I may have conquered my fear of intimacy, but I still don't want him to see me naked all the time, I'm not exactly beautiful.

He slides the pants on, and pulls me into his lap.

"Question. How come I have to walk around shirtless but you get to cover up?" He asks, a smile spread across his face. He looks younger, more carefree. He looks happy.

"Well once I get your abs I'll be walking around naked, but until then, want some dinner?"


	14. Chapter 14

Tobias)

Tris is nuzzled into my chest, her breaths deep, and even in her sleep, I can see the see that faint trace of a smile on her lips. We had eaten a quick dinner and watched a stupid movie, but around 1 in the morning, she started yawning and rubbing her eyes. The clock read 2:16 right now, but I'm not tired, I could sit and watch her for days on end. Everything about her is a work of art. The way her skin is perfectly smooth, and pale, not yet damaged from the sun. The way her little nose curves slightly to the right from one of the punches thrown in her initiation, only noticeable when you're face is almost pressed against hers. The way her lips purse just a little bit, parted just slightly, when she sleeps. She's perfect. And she's mine.

A gentle knock on the door snaps me from my thoughts. Who would be knocking on our door at 2 in the morning? Just when I was convince I imagined it, it comes again. Three gentle knocks, muted by the thick door. I slide out from under Tris, resting her head on the pillow. She stirs a little bit, mumbling my name, but goes straight back to sleep. I pad quickly and quietly over to the door, sliding it open and slipping outside, shutting the door as quietly as I can behind me.

A woman stands at the door dressed in dauntless gear, the black leather hanging off her fragile frame. She steps back, as to not be too close to me, but still stands near enough that I know to follow her eyes, to watch each little twitch of hers. Her eyes find mine, and something familiar flashes in them. Her breath seems to stop for a moment.

"Tobias?" She asks, gazing at me with a somewhat choked expression.

"Is Beatrice inside?" She motions to the door. I clear my throat, and realize I'm shirtless, but decide to ignore it, putting on my Dauntless persona.

"My name is Four. Tris is in there, but she's asleep. What do you want?" I ask. I notice the woman has no visible tattoos or piercings, but she definitely is dauntless, I can tell by her stance and slight muscle definition. I just don't recognize her. She pries her eyes away from the door, and looks at me pleadingly.

"Please, I must talk to you, but we can't out here." Her eyes glisten with determination as they nervously dart to the security camera in the corner of the stone hallway, and her expression is sincere. I don't know what it is, but I see something so familiar in her, I can't help but trust her.

"Alright. Follow me, and don't make any noise. If this is some sort of attack I warn you that you have you will be killed before you so much as flinch in my direction, even if you are armed."

She smiles slightly at this, but nods her head in agreement. I open the door and motion for her to follow me. She does as instructed, barely making a noise when she closes the door, the metal sound of the lock sliding into place the only noise in the room other than Tris's shallow breaths. We walk past the bed, and I see the woman stare at Tris and freeze. I clear my throat and she smiles apologetically, then follows me into the kitchen. Just as I close the door behind her, I see her wipe a tear from her face, but I pretend not to have noticed.

"Have a seat. Now." I say, trying to get my thoughts together

"Don't bother with small talk with me To- sorry Four. I know about you. I know about Beatrice. Both of you are not safe." She says, gaging my reaction.

"What do you mean she isn't safe?" Is all I can ask. A strange woman knocks on my door at 2am, sits in my kitchen, knows my name and is now telling me Tris isn't safe? I try to calm my heart rate and keep even breaths, fingers digging into the counter I lean against.

"I know what you are. And they're killing people like us." She says, rushing on. "We need to stop them. The warning you got tonight won't be the first, but it will be the least serious. This is bigger than just you me and Beatrice." She finishes, resting her hand on my arm. There is something so familiar about her, like I know her but can't remember her name, even her the way she places her hand reminds me of something, I just can't remember what.

"What do you mean people like us? And how do you know about the attack? Who's killing who?" I ask, slamming my hand on the counter.

She grabs my arm and wrenches it off the counter, surprisingly strong for her size. She holds a finger to her lips then points to the door.

"I know you're divergent. And I know Beatrice is too. I don't know who, and I don't know why, but they will be sure to kill her, she had the aptitude for three factions. Something completely unheard of. If you want to keep her safe you are going to need to figure out what is going on, I'm under too close of a watch to be any help. Coming here tonight was a huge risk, but I needed to make sure she was safe and you kept her that way."

A million other questions flood my mind, but before I can get any of them out, I hear the kitchen door open. Tris walks in with her hair pulled up into a ponytail, wearing only my tshirt that comes down to just above her knees.

"I heard noises coming from in here. You on the phone?" She asks rubbing her eyes. When she finally pulls her hand away from her eyes, the sleep immediately disappears from her face, and her mouth hangs open, staring at the woman.

"Mom?"


	15. Chapter 15

(Tris)

The kettle's whistle snaps me back into reality. I sit on the kitchen counter at Tobias's place, and he stands in front of me, his bare feet planted on the dark stone floor. We both stare blankly at the ground. Finally, not being able to handle annoying squeal, I reach over to the warm metal knob and turn off the flame.

"Are you ready? Or do you want me to go in and talk to her first?" Tobias asks me, now watching as I place a tea bag in each of the three chipped mugs and poor the water in. I'm not ready. My mom shows up in the middle of the night, dressed as dauntless as any other faction member, issuing a warning. The worst part, the part that makes each of my mechanical movements harder, is that she hadn't even planned on speaking to me.

"Just grab a cup and a box of cookies." I say, not being ready to voice my concerns out loud, not even knowing where I would begin. Initially, when I saw my mom we had hugged, but then I realized if she were here, something was terribly, terribly wrong.

I pushed the kitchen door open and sat a steaming mug in from of my mother who sat at the small industrial looking dinning table. It's crazy really. She had told me she had been in dauntless on visitors day, but I never could really imagine her being so brave. But now, with her hair down framing her face, a black leather jacket and black pants that cling far too tight to be abnegation, she looks like a familiar face. So different in every aspect, but it's like she is the embodiment of those spurts of dauntless I could occasionally catch her in.

Tobias pulls a chair out for me, but I can't sit. My nails dig into the chair's metal back, and I just stare at her. How could I have not known. Finally, I sit, and Tobias sits in the chair next to me.

"Beatrice, sorry, Tris. I'm so sorry to have barged in here, I didn't mean to wake you. But I needed to warn you. You're not safe." She says, the same caring tone she always kept with me.

"Mom, call me Beatrice. Thank you, for coming, but I don't understand... Why? Can you just start from the beginning?" I say, clutching onto Tobias's hand under the table like it's the only thing keeping me anchored to this earth.

"Umm. Alright. The beginning. When I was younger, having grown up in dauntless, I saw some pretty amazing things, terrifying, brave and sometimes reckless, but always amazing. But there were always people that would stick out to me. People who would never cross the line over bravery into reckless. They also seemed to be able to pull less dauntless-like actions, some being interested in the science of bravery, others in how to help others through their bravery. Those people would thrive in our society, becoming leaders, making huge decisions. But always, some way or another, these people would just disappear. Their deaths were only mourned by those close to them, and within a few days time, it was as if they had never existed at all.

"So when it came time for my aptitude test, I was told, as I'm sure both of you were, that I was inconclusive. Divergent. I chose abnegation, knowing it would be safest, but still, I kept coming here and watching the same thing happen to new remarkable people. Eventually I was able to connect the dots between divergency and the disappearances. But people started to notice my curiosity with dauntless, and I'm still under careful watch. Of who, I don't know.

"Then I watched you grow up, Beatrice, and noticed the exact same traits that I had displayed, even more so. When you chose dauntless, I had to do something. When I told you to research the simulation serum, I was hoping you would draw the same suspicions as I did. But there was very little chance of that happening. There is someone out there, monitoring the simulations. Someone other than the Erudite. They're killing off the Divergents, and I don't know why. All I know is you are not safe. When they attacked you tonight, I was praying you would get away. I'm so glad you did." She finishes, tears brimming her eyes.

Tobias looks as amazed as I do, no fear in his expression. Finally, he clears his throat.

"Um, Mrs. Prior, how did you know we were attacked tonight?" He asks politely. She rolls her eyes the way only dauntless do.

"Call me Natalie. I knew there would be a ball tonight, so I snuck out, figuring that it was an easy night for an attack. I saw you guys walk away, from the top of the pit where I was watching, then I saw those men follow you. By the time I got there, they were all lying unconscious. So I plucked all of their IDs and went back home. I wouldn't have come back if I hadn't needed to. The men who had followed you, they all transferred for abnegation, but I didn't recognize a single one of them. I had to warn you, once I realized we were dealing with more than just some sort of gang."

"Mom, what do you want us to do? I mean, what can we do?" I ask, worry creeping into my voice. If Tobias is in danger, I need to fix this.

"I wish I could help somehow, but they have such a strong tail on me already that if they would know we know about them, they would kill us without a second thought. You're going to have to figure out what's going on, but you have a long time. If tonight was your first attack, they don't start getting serious for about a year or two. They won't attack you again, but they will be watching to make sure you don't suspect them. Even if they d-" She stops. Her face becomes even more serious, each minuscule line on her face becoming more pronounced. No this is an emotion my mom has never shown me. This is anger.

"Beatrice. A word in the kitchen?" She commands, standing abruptly and not waiting to see if I will follow. Tobias looks at me questioningly, but I just shrug. I swing the door open.

"Mom, what's u-" but before I can finish my worried sentence, my mom spins to face me, slamming her open palm on the counter. "Why in the world are you half naked in some strangers apartment? Sleeping in his bed? Have you forgotten all your morals? All your father and-" she starts to yell but I cut her off, seeing that this is going to be a type conversation my mother and I had never shared.

"Mom I love him." I say, looking down at my hands.

I'm met with silence. I look up and her fingers are pinching the bridge of her nose, her eyes shut and I can tell she is trying to control her breathing. When she opens her eyes, the same kindness is back in them, but there is a harshness to her tone as there has been this whole night.

"Beatrice, you're a teenager, and he's a man. It's just raging hormones that tell you this is alright. Please, think about what you are doing." She whispers, pain creeping into the last few words.

I reach out and hold her hand in mine, just as I did when I was little, just as I did the day I left her. "Mom. He's 2 years older than me. Being through what he has been forced through has aged him, but that's what will have to, actually is happening to me. I promise you this isn't some raging hormone teenage craze like we hear the other Dauntless and Amity talk about. I um, I actually... Didn't really want to I guess you could say." I say, trying to avoid telling her about my fear.

She throws my hand to the side, with much more force than I realize, and I see rage course through her face, the lower illuminating beauty I had never seen through her.

"He made you?" She whispers, each word echoing off the walls, a lethal expression changing her face. She starts towards the door, but I grab her, not realizing the strength she held.

"No no no. Mom calm down. He didn't make me. Stop please please. Listen." I hold her back, guarding the door before she goes out and kills Tobias. I pant, hands on my knees as she steps back, "On my landscape. My fear landscape. Intimacy was one of them. I only had 7 fears. But when I fell in love, it became a different fear, something that I wanted to conquer. I wasn't dauntless anymore. I was divergent." She immediately softens, pulling me into her arms and wiping the tears that I didn't realize had fallen onto my cheeks.

"You're even stronger than I realized." She mumbles into my hair. Once both of us have a moment to calm down, we step back into the main room. Her eyes scan the room and she finds the clock. Seeing the time makes her stiffen, and pull me into her, one last embrace. "I love you Beatrice. I'm so sorry, but I needed you safe." And without a chance for me to even hug her back, she's left and the front door is hanging wide open.

After hours of analyzing, Tobias and I finally lie in bed, tangled in each other's arms. "We're going to have to keep living normally" he says, holding me against him. I nod against his shoulder. "Promise me you won't die?" He mumbles into the top of my hair.

"As long as your heart is still beating." I reply before I close my eyes and let sleep take over.


	16. Chapter 16

(Tris)

"You're going to break skin if you don't let me tape you up." Tobias murmurs in my ear, taking me by surprise. I step back from the punching bag and look at him, wiping the sweat off my forehead. I had dragged him up here the moment we woke up, begging him to help me get stronger.

"Does it really look like I care right now?" I growl, waving a hand in front of my body. My hair was pulled up into a disordered ponytail, and I wore a black tank top, which was now drenched in sweat, grey sweat shorts, the only thing covering my feet was my ankle tape.

"Take a break Tris. You haven't even eaten anything all day!" He says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Taking a break won't make me stronger! You don't get it. People prey on me because it's easy, and I can't have you always swooping in and saving me. I'm tired of being a little girl!" I yell. There's no one around to turn and stare at us, they're all probably out having a pre-party before tonight.

"So you're just going to keeping going?" He asks. I shake my head yes then turn back to the punching bag, but before I can swing, Tobias is scooping me up over his shoulder.

"Tobias!" I squeal, wriggling and trying to break free. He ignores me and just keeps on walking. Finally, he throws me off of him, sending me onto a mat straight to my back. I roll out of it, landing in a crouch.

"Ok, then hit me." He says, crossing his arms and shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm not kidding Tobias. Nobody looks at you with pity every time they hear you've been in a fight, you're not helpless." I say, getting to my feet, and walking past him. He grabs my shoulder and pushes me to the mat, not holding any strength back. The wind is knocked out of me, my body landing flat on the navy mat. I crawl onto my hands and knees, coughing as I stand.

"And neither are you. So let me show you what it's like to fight someone who actually knows what they're doing. Hit me." He says, still as if there was nothing weird about fighting someone you love, someone you spend all your time with, someone you trust. "Tris. You're different than the rest. They might not know that but you do. Just because you have to hide it don't let that fear shut you down, thrive off of it like you used to. The Tris I know isn't going to stay in here every single moment of the day throwing the same punches." He finishes, frustration causing him to yell outs. " I'm not ready to watch you get hurt." He whispers, pain creeping into his tone.

I don't want him to feel like he needs to protect me, or that I'm going to get hurt, so I do what I should. I lunge at him. He obviously hadn't expected that amount of force from me, because he's nocked right to his back. I immediately feel awful, and go to lend him a hand up.

"Tobias, I'm so sorry! I guess I've gotten stronger sinc-" but before I can reach my hand out to his, he's turned around and knocked me off my feet with a leg of his. I land on my stomach but brace my fall, spinning onto my back right before he can grab me. Him reaching down gives me a split second of opening, so I jump on his back and pull his arms over me, doing a little summersault and pinning him to the ground. His muscles twitch under my touch momentarily before flipping me over, grabbing my arms and pulling them up, and one knee on either side of my hips. He leans down, menacingly, but instead of murmuring a threat like an attacker would, he kisses me.

It's a light kiss, his lips are warm against mine but I feel his already heavy breathing quicken. I arch my back and grind my hips against his, causing him to moan into my mouth and me smile into his. In his moment of distraction, I twist my left leg with his, and jerk him off me,so he lies on his back and make a run for it. Stupid move I should have realized, because his hand reaches out and wraps around my ankle. I slam into the mat and he pins me.

"Don't make it so easy for me to see your next move. I could tell you were going to run the second you got to your feet." He mumbles, staring at my face, checking to make sure he didn't hurt me.

"If you guys could not jump each other's bones where I work out, that would be great." I recognize Zeke's voice, not being able to turn my head and see who had come in. I guess we must have been to into the fight to hear the door open. Tobias keeps me pinned but twist his head.

"Sorry, I was just practicing my domestic violence skills."

Zeke and I scoff at this, knowing Tobias all too well. Tobias stands up and pulls me with him, but doesn't drop my hand once were face to face with Zeke.

"What's up?" I ask, seeing as he's obviously not here to train, wearing jeans, a nice shirt and a jacket.

"Well we were all out having lunch up top, you guys should seriously come up. But then Eric came over, actually wheeled over, he's covered in tons of casts and is in a wheel chair right now. Some dude must have finally had enough. Anyways, he asked me if I could give this to you." Zeke says, pulling out a large envelope from inside his jacket and handing it to Tobias.

Tobias looks angry now, but Zeke doesn't notice.

"I'm going to head back up. Will I see you guys tonight?" He asks, referring to the party happening on the train. Just as I'm about to say Tobias and I have to stay and train, Tobias interrupts me.

"Yeah for sure. See you tonight." Zeke turns away and leaves but not soon enough to miss me smacking Tobias in the back of the head.

"We are not going to that party." I scowl. He walks over and tucks the envelope into his bag, then comes back to me.

"I am not dealing with a stressed out you everyday. We're going to get to the bottom of this, but you heard your mom. We have to watch for them to slip up again, other wise they'll know we're onto them. For now, you'll wear that sadistic bra of yours and enjoy life. That's final. Besides you need to let off some steam."

He walks over to our bags and bends to pick them up. I decide he's right, but I'm not done training for today. So I run, and jump on his back, taking him by surprise.

"You're not running away from a little from a little girl, are you Four?" I whisper into his ear, nibbling at his earlobe with a grin. He drops the bag and starts into a run.

"Nope, but I am going to kick a little girl's ass!" He laughs, but keeps on running with me on his back. He's running away from the fighting mats, instead towards the edge of the floor that meets with the foam pit. It's there so people could practice flinging people off of them, but people mainly use it to try flips and tricks into it, daring each other to add another rotation and twist each time.

Realization of what he's planned dawns on me, and I dig my nails into his shoulders and hide my face in his neck.

"I'll kill you" I moan into his ear, but he ignores me. Finally, I feel a jolt as he punches the ground with his feet, and we soar through the air. I close my eyes and hold on to him as tight as I can, not bothering to think about how many times we go upside down and turn side to sided. Before we hit the foam, Tobias grabs me waist and twists into me, shielding me with his arms when we land. We're both laughing too hard to remember our fight by the time we've crawled out of the foam, as we lie on the ground clutching our sides and gasping for air. I roll into him and study his face. His eyes glow, and I'm once again pulled into then. They're darkness reminds me of the feeling of bliss when you turn off the lights at night, remembering every good moment in your day, like we did last night.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and pull my self closer to him. His face relaxes a little bit, but he still smiles.

"I love you Tobias." I say, watching as his smile is replaced with that of laughter by one of love, his mouth closing and his eyes staring at mine.

"I love you too." He says. He pulls me to my feet and we walk over to our bags in silence. "And I'm glad you're not a little girl." He stays with a grin.

"Oh yeah and why is that?" I ask, ready for him to jump me and pin me down again. But he takes me by surprise.

His hands wraps around my waist and pull my face up to his. He turns me around and presses me against a door, opening my mouth with his. He kisses me gently, but I can feel need creeping into the kiss from both of us.

"Because then I couldn't do this." He says, twisting the door knob and pushing the door open, still holding me up. The bang of metal on metal echoes in the dark room as he slams the door behind us, one hand snaking up under my ass to hold me to him, the other sliding the lock into place before leaning against the door. He moves slowly, his hand in my hair causing me to stretch my head back and expose my neck. Trailing kisses down my neck, as the passion grows they turn into little bites. I moan as each little connection we share is felt in my groin.

"Tobias, I need you."I moan, as he trails back up and plants his mouth on mine. He turns, still holding me with my legs wrapped around his waist, and my arms tangled around his neck and shoulders. I hear a huge clunk, and see he's just thrown some 45 pound weights across the room, clearing space on a shelf for me to sit. He rests me on the shelf and I feel the cool metal against my bare legs. Now with freedom to move my arms without being dropped, I disentangle them and pull at the hem of Tobias's damp grey shirt. He breaks the kiss for a moment so I can slide it off of him, throwing it to the side. From where I sit at eye level, I can see his tattoo creeping up around his neck and over his shoulders, but before I can stare I'm pulled back into Tobias.

He kisses me passionately. Hot. We're both sweaty from the workout, so I can smell the rugged side of him. He still smells like soap somehow mixed with musk and lust, creating the perfect scent, like hot metal mixed with clean sheets. I trail my fingers up over his stomach, feeling each and every muscle. Each and every part of him is so solid, so strong, but yet I've never felt safer, more exposed or more comfortable with any one else. I find his perfect six pack, and giggle, looking down in embarrassment. He grabs my chin and matches his mouth back to mine. "

"What?" He murmurs, not taking his lip off mine. I feel the vibrations as he speaks against my lips, causing me to want even more. But I pull back, remembering just how perfect he is. I let myself look him up and down.

Standing before me is some sort of sex god. His dark brown hair perfectly folds over just at the top, still short, but not quite abnegation. His face just welcomes me, and I don't understand why. Why me?

"I don't know, it's just... I swear to god, you're photo shopped. And you could get any girl you wanted, even ones you don't! But instead, you choose me. Some flat chested, awkward, stubborn and rude girl who just happened to stumble into dauntless from abnegation. Why did you choose me?" I ramble, looking down at his abs, half out of embarrassment, but also because... Well, because of his abs.

"Tris," he says, gently resting his fingers under my chin, and pulling my face up. I still can't look him in the eye. "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't want any of them? That I want you? Don't you feel the way we fit together so perfectly, balancing each other out in every way? The second I saw you, I studied your face and I prayed that you would take your time to figure out a new name just so I could watch you a little longer. I don't want you Tris. I need you." He finishes, placing a light kiss on my lips.

I relax into him, and kiss him back, letting my fingers trace over his tattoo I've come to know so well. His hands rest on my thighs but slowly creep up, fingers just under my shirt as if to ask permission. I nod, keeping my lips on his. I can't seem to take my fingers off his back, so he reaches around and grabs both of my hands with one of his, holding them above my head and sliding the shirt off. He stares at me for a moment and I blush even deeper. "Definitely not a little girl." He murmurs.

His lips find mine again, and I'm wrapped up in his arms, his bare chest warm against mine, and my hands start tracing his stomach again. I find the perfect V of his lower abs, careful to linger each finger, then hook my fingers in the waist band of his sweats. I pull down but can't get them much past where they originally sat. I try again and groan in frustration, breaking our kiss for better access. But instead, I burst out laughing at the sight of his boxers sticking out of his pants.

"You look like one of the little boys trying to be cool!" I gasp in between laughs, pointing down. He looks and rolls his eyes, whipping his pants off.

"You may not look like a little girl but sometimes I swear you have the humour of a six year old." He sighs, pulling me back to him.

Every movement breathes warmth and life back into me, as if the sun itself were shinning on my inner core. He loops his fingers into the waist band of my pants and I take one of my hands from his neck and push my self off the shelf, just long enough for him to slip them off of me. "I love you." I say, grinning to myself. He says it right back, and without seeing it, I feel his smile turn into a joking grin. "But I guess that doesn't mean much, seeing as I'm some sort of man whore." He jokes, chuckling.

I pull back and swat his arm playfully "Yeah, but you're MY man whore" I joke. But the second I pull back, the laughter disappears from his face. Instead, his eyes roam up and down my body, causing me to blush, but he continues to stare, his eyes growing hungry. He steps in even closer and lies me down on the shelf, pulling my arms up and pinning them above my head. He somehow reaches a hand behind me and unclasps my bra, tearing it away from me. He kisses the skin right below my navel, trailing up just like he did the other night with the body shots.

When he reaches my nipple, he takes it in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it. I feel the same sensation as last night, as if a growing ball of warmth was gathering right in my lower abs. I don't know what to do with my hands. Shit. Oh this feels so good.

"Tobias, oh my god!" I moan, fisting my fingers through my hair. He switches to the other one and twirls it around in his mouth, sucking and twirling, sucking and twirling.

He smiles against me, his mouth sucking and flicking just the right stops as his hand massages the other breast, his fingers mimicking his tongue's dance. Every stroke gets mimicked between my legs, every circle of his tongue echoed in my core. He bares his teeth and all of a sudden, my back arches into him on its own accord. My stomach begins to tighten deliciously, almost like a small electric current is being a couple inches below my navel.

"Tobias, I... Uhhh... Oh my... I can't hold on much longer!" I say, but he doesn't stop, instead, he tears off my thong as if it were made of paper, and inserts a finger into my, twirling it around. I feel him pump in and out of me, then he curls it upwards and I lose control. My legs stiffen, my back arches into him and I'm pretty sure I'm clawing so hard at his back that I leave marks. Finally, the feeling subsides and he pulls me up into him, wrapping his arms with mine and kissing me as if nothing else matters in the world. And it didn't.

Once my breathing slows, I rest my head in his shoulder. But I still feel the need. I need, no I crave the feeling of him inside of me. What was once my biggest fear has been shattered, crushed and I now a drug I need to shoot. I pull on his boxers as I raise my lips up to his, and immediately, he takes the hint. He lifts one hand from my back and takes them off. Not waiting for approval this time, he let's me arch back into his hands as he trusts into me, kissing my neck while my hands tug at his hair. He holds me, completely off the shelf, and continues to thrusts, the unpleasant pinching feeling of last night nowhere to be found. After a few moments of grinding our bodies in synchronization, I can tell he's close, the way he kisses me no longer out of only passion and love, but of need and hunger. But suddenly, he stills, freezing. As if pain, he moans

"How long does that shot last?" I search my mind, clouded with lust, but quickly remember

"We're good for 2 weeks. Now if you don't mind..." I say, jokingly but starting to grind my hips in rhythm with his again.

Finally it's too much for me, and I collapse into his chest, every single part of me exploding around him, as he does one final thrust and empties himself into me, collapsing onto the shelf but keeping his weight off me. He pulls out, and kisses me hot on the lips, his breathing still coming in quick little huffs. I pull his forehead against mine and we just stare into each other for what feels like forever. He exhales, his warm breath somehow cooling me down, bringing me back down to reality and realizing that although I am with the most perfect man in existence, we're also very naked together in a supply weight closet. He seems to realize the same thing, laughing and pulling me up.

Now that we're not in the heat of the moment, I'm quick to cover up, making sure Tobias doesn't get a chance to stare too long. I throw my clothes on in a haste, and twiddle my fingers for Tobias to be ready.

"Hey Tris, forgetting something?" I look over my shoulder and there stand tobias twirling the remnants of my thong on his finger.


	17. Chapter 17

Hiiiii. Ok so I do apologize for my lack of author's notes recently, finals have been kicking my ass so hard I forgot there was a life outside of pyjamas, highlighters, coffee for every meal and falling asleep on my notes. As of yesterday I am officially 3/8 done university which is really weird and I'm realizing that I will one day be an adult which -for anyone who knows me- is not a nice feeling. Ok, long ramble note down below. Enjoy, and don't forget to follow favourite and review. I love hearing what you guys think, and if you want me to write any scenes into the story I am more than happy to :) BYYYYYEEEE

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"Wake the hell up!"

Someone yells, and a pair of fingers flick me right between the eyebrows. Tobias and I had gone back to his place, showered off then had somehow fallen asleep. Beside me, I feel Tobias pulled off the bed and hear what sounds like someone jumping on him. I groan and roll over, opening my eyes just in time to see Tobias's arm reaching up and wrapping around Uriah and Wills legs, pulling them down onto their backs. Zeke stands just out of Tobias's reach, laughing and kicking all of them lightly in the ribs.

"I told you to step back fast, you guys are idiots." He laughs, but stepping too close and receiving a good kick in the shins from Tobias.

I roll over and see Christina digging through my bag of clothes I brought from the dormitories, flinging bras and panties everywhere. I jump up and shove her away, stuffing everything back into the bag as blood rushes to my face.

"Mind telling me how the fuck you got in here?" He looks over at Zeke, the only one out of the four he really knows. Zeke raises his hands as if to admit defeat.

"They made me give them your spare key... I couldn't say no." His grin gives him away. "But hey, if we're interrupting something..." He says pointing towards me. I look down and nearly jump out of my skin, seeing that I'm only wearing Tobias's t-shirt and pearls. I grab a pair of sweats off the ground and throw them on, turning beet red in the process.

"Shut up. Why are you guys here?" Tobias asks groggily, rubbing his eyes, probably still only half awake. Christina nudges my bag to the side with her foot.

"We have the party in like half an hour, and there's obviously no way in hell Tris can go in sweats and a tshirt" I suddenly realize Christina is in full makeup and hair, heels and a tube of fabric that could almost be considered a dress. "But don't worry, I brought you something." She says, throwing a garment bag at me.

"Leave now. Out! I'll change but you guys need to learn the meaning of the word BOUNDARIES. Out." I shout, and Christina, Will and Uriah drag their feet out, each giving me the best puppy dog expression they can muster. Zeke just hangs back, walking over to the couch, but Tobias grabs him arm and chucks him over towards the door.

"You're no better than them. Leave us alone!" I sighs. Zeke rolls his eyes.

"Just because you let her control your mind with her wicked lady parts, doesn't mean she can make you ditch every party. I'm watching you chika." He says, pointing his fingers at his eyes then at me, while sticking his tongue out.

"Sorry about them." I say, slamming the door behind Zeke. I grab the garment bag and head over to the bathroom to get dressed. I slide the zipper open and out comes, as to be expected, a minimal amount of black fabric. I don't even try to analyze what I'm going to be wearing, and slide it right on, the zipper hanging undone at my side, and start to tackle my hair and face. I pull my hair into a tight knot on the top of my head, pulling a few wisps away to loosen it up, just to avoid to avoid looking like an erudite, then paint a couple coats of black gunk onto my eyelashes. I finally take a minute to asses my dress. It's a black soft fabric that hugs around my arms and torso, but doesn't cover my back, then spills out into a loose skirt that ends mid thigh. Not nearly as bad as I expected, and the neck line compliments the string of pearls perfectly.

"Can you grab me a pair of shoes that look impossible to walk in?" I ask Tobias as I step out, readjusting the pearls. He lies on the bed in jeans and a tshirt, but stands up and tosses a pair of heels towards me. I dodge them with no problem, then step into them. He looks up, a smile spreading across his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His brows are furrowed. Something's up.

"You look... Amazing." He stutters. I give him a joking twirl, remembering last night.

"Now let's just hope we can make it through the night without an attack." I joke.

I expect a little laugh, but his face remains placid, as if he hadn't heard me, his arms folded over his chest, staring at the door. I walk over and pull his face down to mine, and as if on instinct, his hands slide around my waist and pull me up. We kiss for a moment, but his movements are too robotic, there's definitely something up. I take my hands from his shoulders and lean back but he keeps me off the ground.

"Hey! You." I say, grabbing his face in my hands and tapping it lightly. "What's up? I'm not going to some stupid party with you acting weird all night. What's up?" I ask, putting my hands on my hips.

Finally he seems to realize I'm about a foot off the ground, and he sets me down gently.

"Uh, I don't know... It's nothing." He mumbles, rolling his eyes and taking a step towards the door. But I stop him, jabbing the heel of my shoes into his toes.

"I can wait all night Tobias." I say, pulling him back to me. He looks down at me and realizes he's fighting a losing battle.

"Ok. But just know that you can say no without worrying about how I feel." He says, looking down at me with caution. I just stare up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Well, they're going to be giving the new dauntless members keys to their apartments tomorrow..." He starts, watching my face for a reaction, but I try my best not to show any signs of sadness. He's getting sick of me being here every second of the day. I knew this would have to be said sooner or later, but still, it feels as if the pearls at my throat are turning to ice, closing in around my breaths. I roll my eyes nonchalantly.

"Don't worry about it Tobias. I can sleep in the dormitories tonight and then I'll be out of your hair." I say, turning around to walk to the door.

But he grabs my hand and twirls me back around, right into his chest. The sudden impact knocks the wind out of me but I don't stagger thanks to the strong set of arms around me.

"I was wondering if you would mind getting your key a little early?" He whispers into my ear. So he really can't stand me... I roll my shoulders and burry my face into his chest, so that he can't see any sign of me being upset.

"Sure. I guess you would have the hookup." I say fairly steadily, but I can hear the little break at the end. He doesn't seem to notice, too consumed with the task at hand.

He steps back, leaving me exposed to the cold air. He comes back carrying a tiny little rectangular box, cloaked in black velvet. I open it and see a glossy new key, with an engraved number 6 on it. I try to force a smile up at him, but it doesn't come, so I just stare at the key.

"Thanks. What apartment number is it?" I ask, expecting some far off apartment on the other side of the compound. He scratches his head as if he can't remember, very unlike him, and walks towards the door. "Let me check." He says, opening the door and peering his head out.

I start to follow him, towards what I assume will be my new home, but his head pops back in before I can make it to the door.

"216. Or at least, that's what the door says." I'm a little confused, but he grabs me around the waist and tosses me out into the hallway, closing and locking the door between us. What the.. But I look up and see, that on a little gold plaque on Tobias's door read "216, Four and Tris". My heart stops for a moment, the blood draining from my face, but a smile replacing it.

I knock, letting my head hang down to hide my smile. "Tobias! What's going on?!" I laugh.

"Sorry, only residents have a key to unlock this door. Unless you are a resident, you will be asked to leave." He replies, his voice muffled by the door but I can practically hear his crooked smile through it. I take a deep breath and unlock the door, with the little gold key in my hand that reads 6. Before I can take a step in, the most familiar pair of arms sweep my up and into the most amazing man in the world.

His lips press against mine, his hands wrapping around my waist and resting on my bare back.

"So is that a yes to moving in with here?" He mumbles into my mouth. I pull back and pec him on the lips.

"I don't know, I heard the guy who lives here is a bit of a man whore." I say, giggling and sticking my tongue out. He bonks his head against mine lightly, pecking me on the cheek. "

I know what you mean, I heard the girl that lives here is absolutely insane." He says, turning around and falling onto the bed with me on top of him.

"Yes." I say, looking into his eyes, nodding with a huge grin I can't control.

"Yes she's insane or-" I cut him off with a kiss, but I pull back quickly. "

Yes to having the man whore ad the insane girl live together." I sigh looking into his face that I've studied countless times, but always seem to find something new in.

"Good," he says, "because I hear they make a really hot couple." He pulls my face down gently, no let's his hands roam my bare back.

"Aw hell no. No no no. Get your horny teenage asses up and out." Christina's voice shouts from the foot of the bed.

The door still hangs open, but Zeke and Will stand at the door, careful not to cross the threshold.

"Ok ok we're coming!" Tobias moans, rolling off the bed and grabbing me before I can fall flat on my face. As we walk out the door, he leans down and whispers in my ear "Absolutely insane" then he yanks my zipper up.

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A/N

I'm sooooo looking forward to rambling again in my author's notes now that I actually have time to unleash my weird mind. Last night boyfriend and I had our usual celebration of building a fort, making kraft dinner and milkshakes, and watching family guy -which we have done every "last day" of school since we were in grade 4- and I promptly fell asleep maybe 3 bites in. Also, just realized I made it sound like we've been dating since grade 4. To clear that up we grew up best friends, not weird 10 year olds that dated. Plus, he's a year older than me so I would have had to have some pretty sick moves to snag me an older man when I was but a pre-pubescent mongrel. Now I shall go because boyfriend and I have to go to one of my professors' mixers and even though I took a solid hour getting ready I plan on gouging on miniature foods and champagne and boyfriend just read that and now he knows he's piggy backing me home mwuahahaha (but tbh I'd get a piggyback regardless of champagne because my smol self is wearing some big ass heels). Ok, wish me luck at stuffing mini quiches into my mouth. As always, please leave a review if you get a chance, it means the world to know you guys are out there reading my crap, and I'm always around to talk if you guys need me. Love you guys.


	18. Chapter 18

Hey, sorry this upload took so long, I don't know why but I just got a sudden mood drop all of a sudden and I guess I'll ramble below because I just kinda need to talk about it even if talking about it is just writing it out. i hope you guys enjoy this small chapter, I'll try to post again soon. Bye

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The party was in full swing by the time we got there. Somehow it was much more tasteful than the first Dauntless Party, but incredibly trashy compared to the ball. Girls everywhere glided around in tiny dresses and heels that looked like some sort of torture devices, while every person there, not only the boys, scanned the room for their night's partner. Tobias's hand was barely touching my waist, but I knew if I were to step any farther from him it would turn into a bar of steel. We started towards the other side of the room where people dressed a little more modest and didn't dance but mingled. People bumped and rubbed their sweaty bodies against us, and finally we had to just elbow our way through, barely causing anyone to stir from their lustful trance.

After what felt like hours, we reach the other sided of the room, slightly panting. I look up at Tobias, but his stare is terrifying, bloodthirsty, over a few couches away from us. I follow his gaze, and my stomach ties itself into a little knot, pulling at my insides to cave in. There, 3 couches away from us, sits Eric in a wheel chair, his bruising having faded quite a bit, but he still looks rather injured. His jaw sports a nice bandage, his arm in a sling, and, bringing a little leap from my heart, both his legs are in casts. But all the pain I could have caused him, none of it measured to the emptiness that swam inside me the moment he laughs, at some stupid joke Shauna told. It was the same laugh that had rung in my ears the moment I start to struggle. The same laugh I had silenced. But now, the same ringing is in my ears.

I'm snap out of my trance from a new coldness on my back, and looking down I realize Tobias's arm had disappeared from my waist. Snapping my head up, before he can take a step away, I grab his arm, digging my heels into the floor.

"No no no no no no. Not here. Tobias, my shoes are going to break, stop. Not here, everyone will want to know what he did to deserve it. Stop please please." I whisper urgently, but I know all my tugging and pleading in the world couldn't stop him. However my sudden limp arms, and stif body does.

A pair of long fingers graze my neck, sending shivers like pin pricks down my spine.

"Well if isn't just Dauntless's cutest couple! How are guys doing tonight?" Lauren stands in front of me, one of her lanky arms draped over my shoulders, in a dress that even Christina would have calling a dress. Tobias had stopped and turned at the sound of her voice, but instead of boredom I'm sure Lauren had been expecting, his face is amused. She looks over at me, then back at Tobias, giving him a wink she made sure only I saw.

"So Four. How have things been? I mean we haven't talked since... You know." She says, giving me a knowing glance while trying to swat him playfully on the arm but he moves, causing her to lose balance a bit and pull on my arm.

"Lauren… Hello," Tobias says cordially, "as much as I would love to stay and chat, I have to go talk to someone else." Turning on his heels, Tobias stalks off towards Eric.

I turn, ignoring Lauren's whispered insults, and start elbowing my way to where Eric sits. I push and shove and finally in a little clearing, I see Tobias's arm slip through people, in such a graceful way people wouldn't notice him if it weren't for the strength he emanates. I take the only chance I may get, diving through the crowd and clamping both my hands around his arm, not even being able to circle his bicep completely. But even with all the strength in the world, he had once told me, taking someone from surprise will always conquer.

I yank, my hands turning into steel around his bicep, and he falls to the ground with a muffled "thunk". Before he can get up and run to Eric, I jump on him, straddling his stomach and taking his face in my hands, wrenching his eyes to mine. No one seems to take notice of us, except for one girl who trips on Tobias's leg "get a room" she grumbles, but with the mix of the bottle in her grasp and her disheveled dress, I would guess she could have tripped on a grain of sand.

"Stop. You're going to make a scene and I don't want people knowing he attacked me." I whisper, staring at him as intense as I can manage under the odd coloured lights. But his gaze isn't meeting mine. Instead, he focuses on the spot in the room that I'm sure is Eric. I stand and pull him too his feet, his hand wrapping around mine out of reflex. I drag him behind me, each of his footsteps heavy and slow. Finally I stop, and he turns his head, the blue in his eyes stands on edge, electricity coursing through him, pure rage and adrenaline.

I reach up and lace my arms around his necks he just stands there, scanning our surroundings and realizing what's happening.

"What are you doing Tris?" He practically whines, but still standing stiff as a board.

"Well _babe_ … I'm going to try to distract my boyfriend so he doesn't go up and brake some asshole's jaw when his girlfriend already did. And seeing as said girlfriend can't dance for her life, the boyfriend will either dance or take the girlfriend back to his place." He just stares at me, and we study each other for a while. Even in heels, I can hardly wrap my arms around his neck, but we just stand there, getting bumped and shoved by the grinding crowd. He quirks an eyebrow at the word boyfriend.

"Shut up, if I had saying "my reason to live" just didn't roll of the tongue in the situation." I say, rolling my eyes as he drapes an arm around me, turning towards the direction of the door.

"And it's our place, _babe_ " he whisper into my ear, the words so quiet yet so impactful, they're easy to hear over the blaring speakers right next to us. I smile, glad he can't see me blush in the dim light. Eventually, we make it to the thinner crowd at the entrance.

Just as we're about to leave, an arm wraps around my waist, holding me in place while Tobias is pushed forwards. Out of instinct and reflex, I turn and twist the arm that wraps around me, but quickly drop it when I see it belongs to Zeke.

"Leaving so soon?" He questions. Tobias and I shrug our shoulders.

"We figured we would just make an appearance, you hanging back?" Tobias asks, obviously just making obligatory small talk.

"Yeah, but I meant to ask you if you ever read what was in that envelope?" Zeke asks, gesturing for us to step outside as he does.

The air is somehow cooler out here, even though it's in the same building, but there are no crowds or blaring music to make you feel cornered.

"I haven't. What about it?" Tobias asks, pulling me into him subconsciously, draping his arms over my shoulders and resting his chin on my head. Blood rushes to my cheeks, but Zeke doesn't notice, he just smiles at the sight of us.

"Eric gave me one too. It's early initiation this year apparently. Some leap year or some bullshit, but we'll need to start setting up their training rooms and training the simulations soon." Zeke says, a pained expression crossing his face when he talks about the simulations.

"Oh. Ok, well thanks, I'll read it when we get back to our place." Zeke waves and nods his head at me, then runs back into the party.

We walk in silence for a while, then finally I clear my throat.

"So what does that mean?" I ask, looking up at him, he's just staring ahead, lost in thought, but looks down at me, with a vicious smile.

"The next few weeks of training are going to be hell. Then then even worse, Initiates."

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A/N.

So I hope you guys enjoyed that, I'm having a rough time liking my old writing and no where near enough energy to write new stuff. i don't know why I've gotten this dip in my mood, but I've been so fucking stupid about it. I feel like I'm back to my own ways in that weird limbo of wishing I didn't feel this way but also just wanting it to stop. Hiding it from boyfriend has gotten too easy, like because I'm not someone who gains weight it doesn't show that I've stopped working out, and of course I had the excuse of being exhausted from school for wanting to stay in bed all day and half the time he would be excited to just cuddle up with me, but he's currently away from home traveling with the hockey team until the 23rd and I haven't been able to get myself to get out of bed for more than a couple hours. It's been a long time since I haven't felt like pushing through anymore, and I'm hoping this will be brief. Basically, I just wanted to say if you are feeling like utter shit, you are not alone. You guys always know I'm around to talk and I care a about each and every member of this lil internet family. Love you all xx


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